Dante
We've arrived in Cairo this morning, said goodbye to the good man with the boat, and traveled to Alexandria by a rented car. Once we reach the city, we moved to a new, yet different ship and were on our way to Italy.
Bruno told me that the transport from Italy to the United States is going to be much better, I honestly don't care how we travel, as long as it takes us away.
We are all sitting in a small cabin now. My brother looks uncomfortable with this kind of transportation, I wonder if he's used to luxury and fancy staff back home.
The night became cruel, lowering its temperature until we clench our teeth. Aggressive wind beat the windows and the water hits the ship, it's a little scary.
Bruno wraps the child and Sarah with his giant arms. He gives them both comfort and warmth, but Amira and I keep a safe distance. I understand why she doesn’t seek my body heat, but it doesn’t make me feel better, more like the opposite.
Suddenly, I feel Amira’s head on my shoulder; I guess she finally fell asleep, but when she realizes that she wakes up abruptly.
“Are you all right?”
She quickly nods, her cheeks blushes, her hair is very tangled, her eyes are bright and a little reddish.
“Yes, I'm sorry, I fell asleep at some point.”
“Don't worry about that, you can lie on my shoulder if you want.” She glances at me like a puppy trying to trust its owner. I hate that, I hate that she has to study me first, when she knows that I am incapable of hurting her. A moment later she slowly rests her head on me, her body is stiff but eventually she sinks into a deep sleep.
It's a warm and peaceful feeling.
My hands burn for touching her hair, but my mind lives in a high security prison and I cannot even afford to stretch out my hand between the bars.
I glance at my brother, who has his arm wrapped around Sarah from her neck to her butt. I wonder if my brother ever felt the repression I am experiencing, perhaps he can advise me what to do.
“You know it's rude to look at your brother's wife's ass, right?” asks Bruno's hoarse voice.
His eyes are still closed, but I know he's watching me.
It’s funny how he keeps calling Sarah his ‘wife’ when he didn’t even propose to her yet.
“I-I wasn’t, I'm sorry...” I nervously say, “I just...I was curious...”Oh, that sounds worse.
Bruno opens his eyes and straightens his neck a little without waking up Sarah or Ben.
“Curious about my wife's ass?” He asks again, with a half-smile.
“No, that's not what I meant, I...” I look for the right words. Unconsciously my eyes travel to Amira, Bruno frowns.
“I understand, brother.” he interrupts. “Give her time, it's not easy.”
I don't want him to think that I'm only interested in Amira because of her body, she's beautiful, yes, but is not that what I seek.
“But remember something,” he whispers. “You have to give yourself time too, to process everything that's going on inside your head.”
“I don't know if I can ever do that...”
“You can and you will. I'm here to help you.”
“You have more faith than I do, brother. It's going to be a lot of work and I'm so tired, I'm not sure I'm going to make it out there.”
“Since the day I found out you were alive; I knew it would be a lot of work bringing you back to the world of the living. You must make the effort, think of mom and dad, they died thinking they were going to see you on the other side and look where we are, on a smuggler's boat, in the fucking Mediterranean Sea.”
“I hate myself for making the most reckless decision of my life.”
“Dante, look at me,” Bruno demands. "If I could forgive myself and move forward, then so can you.” He says, but somehow I don’t feel he means it.
