I shift uncomfortably. I’m not proud of my actions, denying her the kind of happiness, or fun that she was reasonably entitled to with other guys. But then, I’ve never been reasonable. I look into her eyes, and that’s when I see a hint of amusement there.
‘Wrong,’ she repeats, ‘but also kind of… hot.’
My eyes widen as I take in her words. ‘You’re not angry?’
She considers. ‘Oh, I’m angry, yes. But the knowledge that you were watching me, because you wanted me. And couldn’t stand to see me with anyone else… It’s… I’m not sure I believe it. That I could really make someone like you?—’
‘Want you so much that I couldn’t even stand to be in the same room as you in case I fucked up and revealed to the world just how obsessed I was with you?’
‘Why?’
‘Because you’re beautiful, and there’s something about you I just can’t resist.’
I shift Niamh on my hips, and her breathing deepens as she stares up at me. I smile and press my erection against her. It’s sweet the way that makes her blush, and suddenly everything inside me is demanding that I truly make her mine. I’m not going to deny myself– either of us– any longer. How could I have even considered for a single second killing this woman? As the evening breeze cools the last of my temper, and the sweet smell of the honeysuckle growing by the loch reaches my brain. Looking at Niamh now, knowing that after this, after tonight, I will never marry Vittoria Riali.
‘I thought about you the whole way here,’ I say. ‘And then when I saw you with Matt…’
She blinks up at me, and my mouth curves into a slow smile as she whimpers as I move my body against hers. She’s not wearing underwear, so only the fabric of my boxers is stopping me from entering her. But she doesn’t stop me, doesn’t say no, and she definitely isn’t trying to get away. Then she moves her hips, grinding against my erection once, twice and then a third time.
‘I don’t want Matt.’
Her mouth opens in a silent ‘O’ as my body reacts– as I grow harder and tent the fabric of my boxers. I don’t have to push her away anymore. Instead, I can strip her innocence away, piece by piece, until I’ve ruined her, and she becomes exactly the woman I want.
I slide my fingers between her legs to find her clit. She freezes for a second, then relaxes, whimpering as I toy with her until her fingers squeeze my shoulders and her breath starts to come in soft pants.
‘Cillian,’ she murmurs as I move my hand, circling the entrance to her pussy before sliding a finger inside her. She quivers, her muscles clamping down around me, and my cock swells even harder as I imagine what it’ll feel like to fuck her. She’s so bloody tight and I’m not a small man. A thought strikes me, and I pause my movements.
‘Cillian?’
I pull out of her and look down at her face.
‘You’ve really not done this before?’
‘This?’ she asks, chewing on the corner of her lip and trying to avoid answering. Her cheeks flush, however, giving me her answer, even if she doesn’t say it. Her pain at thinking men didn’t want her was unfortunate, but if it gives me this precious gift, then I’m not sorry.
‘Are you a virgin, Niamh?’
Her mouth widens in shock, but she nods. ‘Yes, I mean, as you well know men just disappeared… It seemed like no one wanted to?—’
‘Okay, okay.’ I close my eyes and blow out a breath, part of me angry for hurting her like this, the other triumphant that she’s only ever going to be mine.
She draws back, and I open my eyes to find her refusing to meet my gaze.
‘Niamh,’ I whisper. ‘I want you. But we don’t have to… I mean, there are other things we can do tonight…Gléigeal.’
I look up at the monastery. It must be almost midnight now and as dark as it’s going to get, but there might still be some visibility. Not that I care too much. There’s no one outside. And if any of the Brothers value their lives, they’ll keep their eyes off what’s mine.
Niamh shivers in my arms, and I can see a blue tinge on the skin around her lips.
‘Out,’ I say, lifting her off me and setting her back down. We’ve been in the loch for too long, my thoughts of finally having her taking away any consideration of time. I boost her out of the water before I climb out after Niamh. I can’t help smiling at the sight of her rolling awkwardly onto the planks.
‘Not exactly the sophisticated impression I was hoping for,’ she says ruefully. She starts to sit up, but I kneel over her and press her slowly back down. ‘Cillian…’
I slip my tongue inside her mouth, and she opens easily for me, whimpering as I claim her for myself. I hold myself above her, running my hand down her side, loving the feel of her delicate curves under me. When I reach the bottom of her T-shirt, I pull it upwards, pushing it roughly over her breasts.
‘Off,’ I say, gripping her T-shirt with both hands and waiting for her to half-sit up so that I can pull it up over her head. I lower my head and take her nipple in my mouth, the chill of her skin warming quickly as I gently suck on one, while teasing the other with my fingers.
‘Cillian,’ she moans, her back arching and pushing more of her flesh towards my mouth.
