Then he started tickling me. I fell back on the ground, giggling, and tried to push him off of me, but he continued tickling me under my arms, on my stomach, and by my knees.
“Xander, don’t,” I gasped as we rolled around on the blanket.
“I didn’t know you were so ticklish.” He grinned down at me, his eyes light as he gazed at my face.
“Well, now you do.”
“Yes, I do.” He leaned down and gave me a quick kiss on the forehead and then lay down on the blanket next to me so that our shoulders were touching. “It’s not all about the money, you know.”
“What?” I said softly as I stared up at the stars in the sky. Sometimes I wish I could just float in the sky and stare at the stars and moon. Sometimes I like to imagine that the stars of eyes of people above, watching over us all.
“I don’t want the company so that I can make more money. I already have a lot of money.” I want to roll my eyes. I wonder what it’s like to be so nonchalant over being so rich.
“Okay,” I said softly, hoping he would tell me why he wanted the company. I wanted to know if the company was more important than me. If I’d ever meant anything to him. If I could ever compete. But I stopped myself from asking as I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer.
“I have a nonprofit in Africa. We help to purify water with chlorine machines, and we dig wells.” His voice was soft. “Right now, I’m only able to donate a million dollars a year through the company foundation, but if I took charge of the company, I could change the rules.”
“You don’t have shareholders?”
“We’re a privately held company. We have a board, but it’s not large, and I can control them.” His voice was passionate. “I want to be able to do this. My family has a lot of money. I want to be able to do some good with it. It’s really important to me.”
“I understand.” And I did.
It was a worthy cause. A very worthy cause. A cause that surprised me, if I was honest. I felt guilty then. I realized that I wanted this handsome, sexy man to want me, to tell me that he loved me, and I didn’t know a thing about him. All I knew was that he was good with his tongue. I felt ashamed of myself.
“So, how long have you had the nonprofit?” I asked softly as we lay there, staring up at the night sky.
“Since I was seventeen,” he said, and I could feel him looking at the side of my face. “I started it my last year of high school with some money my dad had given me. He said I could have a car or I could use the money for something good.”
“And you turned down the car?”
“Yes,” he said, his voice low. “I had just done a science project on cholera and waterborne diseases, and there were all these people dying in different African countries, just from drinking water.” He sighed. “I didn’t think it was right.”
“So, you wanted to help?” I asked softly.
“Yes. I knew I had to help,” he said passionately. “It was actually something I could help to fix. People dying of diseases in water is preventable. It’s not like strife in the Middle East or wars. This is something tangible. This is something that can be fixed. And we know how to fix it. They know how to fix it.”
He rolled over, and I looked at him then. His eyes were blazing.
“When I got into the family business, I made sure my father invested in some different water purification systems. We were going to use them in …” His voice trailed off. “Sorry, I’m boring you.”
“Not at all.” I shook my head and touched the side of his face. “What happened to you? What fuels you?”
“My parents died in a car crash, and my grandfather was no longer interested in helping—at least not without a set of rules.”
“Like you getting married?”
“Yes.” He sighed. “I resisted as long as I could, and I tried to use my own money, but my trust is tied up in so many ways, and there are restrictions on how I can use the money. I don’t have full access to it until I’m thirty-five.”
“Oh, wow.”
“So, I finally said,Fuck it. If I need to be married to do what I need to do, then I need to get married. And then your sister needed a husband. So, we came to an arrangement. It seemed smart. It seemed practical. And it was safe. There were no feelings to complicate matters or make anything messy.”
“That’s good.” I looked down, trying not to show him how hurt and confused I was again.
“I really like you, Liv.” His fingers grabbed my chin, and he made me look at him. “But I don’t even know you, you know? I don’t understand why or how I could feel so close to you. Or how I could miss you that morning when you were gone. I’m apractical guy, a resourceful guy, but I don’t do relationships or emotions. Or feelings. They’re not to be trusted.”
“I understand.”
