I realize what I've done as soon as I say the words aloud, and her expression shutters completely. I said the same words that the nurse said to her in the video we saw.
I watch as her face goes blank, as she dissociates from everything that's happening around her, and I pull back with a snarl.
'Fuck. Daisy, I'm sorry.'
She's lying on the couch, panting.
'Daisy, I'm sorry,' I say again.
She shakes her head, coming back to herself. Her hand comes out and grasps mine, pulling me toward her.
'I’mfine! Don't youdarestop.'
She pulls me towards her, wrapping her legs around me, her nails digging into my shoulders, and I do what she wants.
Less than thirty seconds later, I feel her tighten around me as she comes, and I'm not far behind.
I spill into her as deep as I possibly can, pulling her body to mine, and when I'm finished, when I try to pull away, she doesn't let me. Her legs tighten around my torso, making me lie on the couch with her, with me still inside her.
‘You lied to me,’ she says so quietly I almost don’t hear her.
‘You lie sometimes,’ I shoot back and she scowls.
‘It’s not the same when I do it,’ she mutters and I can't help the tiny bubble of laughter that comes out of me.
She scowls and I sober immediately. ‘I’m sorry that I forgot about the flash drive. I am working on it now. I promise. And I'm sorry I told you I'd started it when I hadn't. I didn’t want you to think it wasn’t a priority because it is.’
She stares at me, her eyes moving over my face. She blinks slowly. ‘You’ve been ignoring me.’
I put my head to hers. ‘You’ve been ignoring me.’
‘This is childish,’ she says quietly. ‘We’re adults. We should…communicate.’
There’s a sneer on her face at the word ‘communicate’, and my lips turn upward just a little.
‘I’ll start. You’re not yourself. You’re treating me like…before, when Kormak made you do bad things.’
‘I’m sorry,’ I say again.
'I don’t want you to be sorry, I want you to tell me what they made you do,' she says quietly.
I do it. I don’t want to, afraid she’ll look at me differently. There’s a reason I never talk about it, not even with Shade and Mav. But I tell her everything that happened tonight, from meeting Mariana Reyes with a gun to my head and the crack house baby to watching the plane disappear into the clouds after she threatened my tongue for disobeying her.
By the time I'm done with my story, I'm letting it all out, sobbing into her chest like a little kid, but she doesn't judge. She just holds me.
When the tears finally begin to stop, she strokes my face.
‘You aren’t what they make you do.’
I tell her that I feel better, and it's true. I don’t deserve her, but I’m too selfish to let her escape me. She kisses my lips gently, and holds me until I fall asleep.
Chapter Twelve
Daisy
As much as I don't want to leave the hotel again after the meeting with Andrew, I decide that I need to stop being scared. Marcus hasn’t tried to find me, and Andy doesn’t seem overly bothered about making sure he knows where I am.
I mean, that does lowkey concern me because why doesn’t he think Icouldjust run? I may not want to live my life that way, but Andy doesn’t know that.
