Tears stream unheeded down my face as I read it again. Then a third time. My heart screams for me to say yes, to beg him to come inside right now and make a baby with me. But my head, it’s telling me to go slow. To remember what happened before I make any decisions.
Reaching for some stationery from a drawer behind me, I write him back. It takes hours to say just the right words and find the courage to place the letter in the mailbox, but by the time it’s dark and I’m exhausted, I do it. Falling asleep to dreams of the family we once planned together.
CHAPTER 4
Tommy
Nights are the hardest for me. With the nightmares following me into sleep and hot flashes drawing me out, the pain from my injuries only amplifies. But last night, my dreams were filled with Cassie and the future we once planned together.
I can only hope she’s read my letter and decided to write back. To give me a shot because I can’t imagine living without her. After my recovery, I thought I was doing the right thing by letting her go. Even reading the suffering in her letters, I’d still convinced myself it was right.
How wrong I was.She’s building her life, sure, just how she wanted. Only she can’t imagine a life with another man in it. But she wants children, and she’d be the most amazing mom in the universe, so she’s doing that too. But I just can’t let her. Not without me.
After getting up, showering, and dressing, I make my way to The Perfect Cup, a coffeehouse I’ve found Cassie enjoys, and grab her favorite iced coffee drink and two muffins—one, double chocolate chip, the other, lemon raspberry.
“You new here?” the woman behind the counter asks as she takes care of my order.
“Yeah, I guess so. My girl moved here; I followed. Trying to win her heart again.”
“And you’re starting with breakfast?” I nod, and her smile widens. “Well, I’m Ophelia, and I own this place, and that there is Laken. You bring that girl of yours in anytime, and we’ll be happy to have you both.”
“Thanks, Ophelia, it was a pleasure to meet you.” I salute her, then spot a man coming from the back with a toddler on his hip and cuddling up to her. A pang of envy and jealousy smacks me in the chest, and I’m more determined than ever to make that happen with Cassie.
When I arrive at her house, the neighbor is back outside. Giving him a nod as I stroll up the walkway, I place her iced coffee and muffins on the chair near the door and spot the corner of an envelope peeking out of her mailbox. Removing it, my fingers brush across my name written in her feminine script.
“Morning!” the neighbor calls out, obviously wanting me to know he’s there and sees me.
“Morning. How you doing?” Making my way over the fence between their yards, I force myself to remain friendly when all I want to do is read this letter.
“Good. Who are you?”
Straight to the point, I don’t mind.
“Name's Tomas Drapper.” Holding out a hand to shake, he eyes me warily at first.
“Clide. I’m Miss Cassie’s neighbor. How do you know her?”
I let him squeeze my hand harder than necessary because I might need him on my side.
“We grew up together. I was away in the military, and I have every intention of winning her heart and marrying her.” I hear the squeak of her front door as it opens and wait for her to callmy name. She doesn’t make a sound, but I can feel her eyes on my back as I interact with Clide.
“Good, good. You look like a solid man. That girl of ours deserves a happy ending.” His gaze flicks to where she’s standing, confusion on his face as we don’t speak.
“Cassie deserves the world, and I aim to give it to her. I’ll see you around, Clide.” Walking away is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
Turning back when I reach my truck, I spot her on the porch, hugging the bag of treats to her chest and smiling as she takes a sip of coffee. Her eyes haven’t left me, and I raise the letter with a grin on my face, so she understands my intent.
Driving away now that she knows I’m here is gut-wrenching, but I do it, and only debate turning around three times before making it to the beach. I roll down the window, allowing the cool ocean breeze to wash over my skin. The letter is in my hands, and fear wraps around my lungs like a vise because what if she rejects me?
I tear open the top of the envelope, my fingers gripping the delicately folded paper. Inhaling deeply, it smells like Cassie, exactly how I remember her. Pumpkin spice and vanilla. Her love of baking follows her everywhere, and I couldn’t be more grateful for it as I unfold the letter and begin reading.
Dear Tommy,
So much time has passed. So many raw feelings exposed with your return. Happiness, confusion, grief, anger. I don’t know what to feel.
The one thing I do know is that I still love you. I always will. You’re my soulmate, my person, the one whom I will forever call my own.
Because Tommy…Tomas…my sweet man, I love you with my entire being, and if you want to make a life with me…marriage, babies, a home…please come tonight. Come soon. Make me yours.
