Glancing away again, he falls quiet, and I try to process. Do I believe him? ‘Did Natalia find out?’ I eye him carefully.
‘No.’ He shakes his head adamantly. ‘I prayed she never would. Despite everything, I still hoped that if she got the right help, we might be able to make things work between us. The things she did, her affairs, her mania, were because she was ill, but she would never admit to it. I suppose, in a way, I couldn’t blame her. Mental illness is a label, after all. It was around then that I booked the cruise. I hoped we could talk. That she would open up to me.’ He stops, swallowing hard.
Pressing a thumb and forefinger to his eyes, he tries to compose himself, then goes on falteringly. ‘I needed to know what it was she wanted. Whether she wanted me. She would always be sorry after one of her episodes, upset and crying.Often, she would beg me not to leave her. I didn’t intend to, but it wassohard sometimes.’
Again he falters, and I give him a moment.
‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,’ he goes on, his voice catching. ‘I should have. I just didn’t want you to feel you couldn’t trust me. I would never cheat on you, Kara. I love you. Please believe me.’
I look him over. He seems so wretched, yet how can I know this is the truth? What if he’d established that Natalia didn’t want him? Would he have left Evie with her? I very much doubt it, which means he would have fought for custody of her. Perhaps already was. Lina seems to think so.
I take a breath and then ask the question I need to. ‘Did you show her the photographs, Jack?’
‘What photographs?’ He looks both wary and confused.
‘The ones you took of her and her lover when you followed her.’
He swallows. ‘I followed her once,’ he says, his gaze flicking guiltily away and back. ‘I thought I could stop her before?—’
‘Did you push her?’ I demand. ‘You must have been overwhelmed with anger seeing them together,’ I go on as he stares at me in astonishment. ‘Did you argue while you were away? Did it get out of hand?’
‘What?’ He shakes his head in bewilderment.
‘Didshe jump from the ship?’ I press on, because I have to. ‘Or did you push her?’
‘Christ.’ Jack sucks in a breath. ‘No, we didnotargue. And no, I did not push her. She…’ He stops and runs his fingers shakily through his hair. When he looks back at me, his eyes are so guarded, it scares me.
‘She didn’t jump from the ship. She never came back on board,’ he admits, his tone flat, his body language defeated.
I stare at him uncomprehending. ‘You lied about that too?’
‘Ihadto.’ He looks at me beseechingly. ‘I couldn’t tell the truth however much I wanted to.’
‘Why?’ I gasp.
He hesitates before answering. ‘Because I couldn’t have the authorities investigating the place shedidfall from,’ he says after a terrifyingly long moment. ‘Because that’s where she and Evie argued.’
FORTY-SIX
‘Are you saying thatEviepushed her?’ I stare hard at him.
‘No. Christ, no.’ Jack shakes his head adamantly. ‘That’s not what I’m saying. They had an argument, a violent argument. There were witnesses. People passing by. I didn’t know whether anyone would think it significant enough to remember. Whether it would ever come to light, but I couldn’t take that risk for Evie’s sake, don’t you see?’
I don’t see anything. My heart bangs manically as he steps towards me, and I back away. ‘So she fell to her death from the island?’ I scrutinise him carefully. ‘Yet Evie is completely unaware of this fact?’
‘She blocked it out,’ he insists. ‘She was confused. In shock. I didn’t want to remind her. It might have screwed her up completely if she thought the last conversation she had with her mother was full of anger and accusation.’ He looks desperate, his expression agonised, but there’s something behind his eyes. A strange curiosity, as if he’s wondering whether I’ll believe him.’
‘So what happened?’ I ask past the hard lump in my throat.
Squeezing his eyes closed as if the memory is too painful, he takes a breath. ‘We were having a family day out, sightseeing along the coastal path. Supposed to be. Out of nowhere, Nataliastarted to get agitated. She and Evie argued. I was walking away, getting Evie out of there, and… Natalia screamed my name. I turned around, but I was too late. She…’
Visibly emotional, he moves tentatively again towards me. I back further away. I don’t believe him. It’s too much. He’s lied about everything. Whatdidhappen to his wife? She jumped from a ship, he said. She committed suicide, he said. Now she’s supposed to have fallen? Jumped from a cliff edge? And Imogen, what happened to her?
I need some space. Spinning around, I head for the stairs.
‘Kara,’ he calls behind me, clearly panicked.
‘I feelsick,’ I yell back.To the depths of my soul.My heart racing, I fly up the stairs. It’s only when I’ve reached the landing that I realise I’m trapping myself here with him. I might have this all wrong. He would be protective of Evie, I know this. But what if I don’t have it wrong? I can’t let him hurt my baby.
