‘Once,’ he answered, glancing down, his expression ashamed.
‘Recently?’ She didn’t want to know, yet she had to.
Jake nodded barely perceptibly. ‘I have no excuses, Emily, other than that I felt so bloody lonely. The way that you were looking at me when things started to decline so rapidly, as if you truly hated me… I suppose I thought that maybe you’d never really loved me. I started thinking more about Ben, why you could never bring yourself to trust me enough to tell me and … It was a mistake, the worst I’ve made in my life, and I’m sorry.’ He ran a hand over his neck. He didn’t say any more.
‘Do you love her?’ She asked the most important question of all. She couldn’t stay in a marriage where the love had died.
‘No,’ he replied instantly. ‘I care about her, I can’t say I don’t, but I’m not in love with her. Sally … she doesn’t want her marriage to break up. It shouldn’t have happened.’
Emily hesitated. ‘Do you loveme? As youshouldlove me, I mean?’
‘I’ve never stopped,’ Jake said hoarsely. ‘I don’t want to go, but if you ask me to, I will. I need you to know that I do love you, though. I always will, no matter what happens.’
It was enough. Emily breathed out. Now she could start rebuilding her world. With her bare hands, brick by brick if she had to. But she would get there – with Jake by her side, God give them strength, because theywerea team. They always had been.
Epilogue
‘I still think we should have had a puppy,’ Ben said, gazing down at his new baby sister.
‘Says the man with the soppy grin on his face,’ Millie quipped. ‘I hope you’re going to treat Aurora with more respect than you do her big sister.’
Ben looked up from the tiny bundle in his arms. ‘I put up with your nuisance, don’t I? He gave her a flat smile. ‘And she’s not Aurora, she’s Ophelia, aren’t you, little pickle?’
‘Pickle?’ Jake mouthed, exchanging bemused glances with Emily, who was watching her two oldest offspring with wry amusement. She supposed it was too much to hope that they would stop arguing for a whole hospital visit. Still, at least they were arguing good-naturedly.
‘Ophelia?’ Millie eyed the ceiling. ‘No way. What are they going to call her at school? Ophe?’
‘Lia, obviously,’ Ben retorted, ‘which has to be better than Rory or Rora. That’s a dumb nickname for a … Uh, oh.’ He looked at Jake, alarmed. ‘You’d better take her, Dad. She’s moving.’
‘Yeah, they do that, Ben.’ Millie rolled her eyes sky high.
Jake laughed, and then shot off the bed as Ben held their precious new bundle awkwardly towards him. ‘Careful.’ Taking her from Ben, he eased her gently into the crook of his arm. ‘I’m not sure she’s an Aurora or an Ophelia. What do you think, little one, hey?’ he asked, gazing wondrously down at her as he walked back to the bed.
‘Why don’t you two go and grab a coffee while your mum and I try to think of an alternative to Pickle,’ he suggested, settling carefully down beside Emily and bringing their much wanted – if somewhat surprising – new addition to the family to her.
‘Er, right, good idea,’ Millie said, and waited.
Sighing indulgently, Jake nodded towards his jacket hanging on the visitor’s chair, inside which was his wallet. ‘Grab one for us while you’re there,’ he said. ‘And don’t forget the cake,’ he added, as Millie helped herself to his cash and headed for the door, Ben close behind her.
‘Willow might be quite cool,’ Ben pondered, disappearing into the corridor.
‘Uh, uh.’ Millie’s decisive tones floated back. ‘We want her to have a strong name. Something short and punchy, like … Aria, maybe?’
‘Shall we think of a name before they christen her?’ Jake suggested amusedly.
‘I’ve already thought of one.’ Emily glanced tentatively up at him.
Jake tore his gaze away from the baby to look at her curiously. ‘Which is?’
‘Rosie,’ she said quietly.
Jake sucked in a breath.
‘I know you might have mixed feelings about naming her after your mother, Jake, but …’ She reached to press a hand softly to his cheek. ‘I’d like to acknowledge her in some small way. Without her, I would never have had you … or this latest little miracle.’
* * *
