‘Evidently.’ Sweeping a disappointed gaze over him, she planted her glass back on the island and turned away. ‘I rest my case.’
‘Emily …’ Jake caught hold of her arm. ‘I was confused back at the surgery. Devastated for Zoe. I said some cruel things and I’m truly sorry. I can’t say I think Sally’s involved, though. I can’t imagine her doing something like this.’
Emily pulled away from him. ‘You need to talk to Millie,’ she said, changing the subject. ‘Assuming you have time in your busy schedule.’
Jake sighed in utter despair. ‘I will,’ he said, guessing that Millie must have been considerably upset when she’d left. ‘Is she at Anna’s?’ he asked, glancing at the wall clock, wondering whether he should call her.
‘No. I’ve spoken to Anna’s mother,’ Emily said, her tone flat. ‘Millie’s seeing someone. Someone unsuitable. Someone older than her. She refused to tell me anything more about him.’
Jake buried another sigh. She’d obviously got Millie’s back up. He knew she was concerned about her. He was too. But she needed to back off a little, allow her some space. ‘We have to let her make her own mistakes, Emily,’ he said carefully. ‘We can’t dictate who she can and can’t see. That’s a sure-fire way to make sure she—’
‘I don’t want her making mistakes!’ Emily snapped. ‘The kind of mistakes she’ll regret for the rest of her life.’
‘Right.’ Jake plunged his hands in his pockets. ‘Like you, you mean?’ He’d heard her warning Millie. He’d dismissed it, telling himself she was referring to things she might have regretted doing before they were a couple. Now he wasn’t so sure. Did she regret marrying him?The life they’d had since?
Her cheeks flushing furiously, Emily’s gaze shot to the floor. Then, as if summoning her courage, she looked back at him. ‘I do have regrets, yes,’ she said. ‘But not about you, in case you’re wondering. I’ve never regretted a day I’ve been with you, Jake. Until now.’ The last was added with a heartbreaking smile. ‘The point here is that Millie could possibly be involved in a damaging relationship. Why else the evasiveness? She knows we’re in trouble. She’s emotional and vulnerable. So if you have time in between your own various relationships, could you please try to talk to her?’
‘For God’s sake!’ Jake couldn’t help himself. ‘When are you going to stop this, Emily? The onlyrelationshipI’m having is with you! Will you not just listen to me?’
‘I’m going to bed,’ Emily replied flatly. ‘It’s late.’
‘Are you taking medication?’ he demanded as she walked away. He hadn’t meant to blurt it out. He’d planned to broach the subject more carefully, proposing that they run another test to see if there had been a mistake somehow. But now … Her moods were all over the place, as was her reasoning. And he’d had enough.
She turned around. ‘What?’ she laughed.
‘Medication,’ he repeated, holding her gaze. ‘Are you taking anything? I need to know.’
Her gaze darkened. ‘So now you’re accusing me of stealing drugsfrom the surgery?’
‘You’re acting irrationally, Emily. You’re fixated, defensive, irritable, exhausted. I don’t know how to talk to you half the time.’
‘Well go and talk to bloody Sally then!’ she snapped. ‘I’m sure you two have plenty to discuss. Driving me out of my mind, for one!’
Jake felt his heart free-falling into the vast space between them as she spun around again, storming into the hall.
‘Christ.’ Inhaling hard, he went back to the island, raked his hand through his hair in frustration, then snatched up the wine bottle, filled Emily’s glass and knocked it back.
‘Have you two finished?’ Ben said behind him.
Shit!Jake swung around. ‘Ben, I’m sorry. I—’
‘Full of fucking apologies, aren’t you?’ Ben drawled. ‘You know what, I don’t think we want to hear any more.’ He stopped as Emily reappeared, her face ashen.
‘You’ve had a text,’ she said, holding Jake’s phone out to him. ‘Apparently she’s pregnant.’
Twenty-Seven
Emily
Emily had never imagined there would come a time when she and Jake would sleep separately. He hadn’t come up to bed again. She’d lain awake most of the night worrying about where Millie was, what sort of man she was with; praying to God that her instincts were wrong and that he wasn’t treating her badly. She’d listened for sounds of Jake below her, wondering whether to go down to him, to try somehow to fix things, but how could she if he was lying to her?
He’d followed her upstairs when she’d raced from the kitchen, hammering on the bedroom door until she’d had no choice but to let him in. He’d been so angry, furious, his eyes thunderous. ‘Whatever this crap is,’ he’d seethed, practically thrusting the phone at her, ‘it hasnothingto do with me.OrSally, as far as I can see. It’s sent from a blocked number, for fuck’s sake. Check it.’
Emily hadn’t believed him. She was struggling to believe anything he told her, yet there was a part of her that did, that saw the desperation in his eyes begging her not to condemn him without real proof. But wasn’t the email, the fact that he and Sally had been in a relationship –werein a relationship – proof enough? She didn’t know what was happening any more. Why would he accuse her of the cruel things he had? Of takingdrugs? She hadn’t been able to believe her ears. The only pills she took were the iron pillshe’dprescribed her, along with her vitamins, and paracetamol for the headaches that followed the endless sleepless nights. She couldn’t understand why he would think she’d taken anything else. As in, stolen from the surgery. She didn’t doubt he’d meant that.
She’d screamed at him in the end to just stop, her hands clamped over her ears, until he’d eventually backed from the room. She couldn’t take any more. She’d felt like running into the night, like going to the surgery and stuffing whatever damn drugs she could lay her hands on down her throat, anything to shut it all out. Until she’d remembered poor Jenny and how desperate she must have been to do what she had.
She’d finally been lulled to sleep by the sound of the dawn chorus, only to wake with a choking jerk, images of her sister’s lifeless body floating through her mind. Kara’s eyes had snapped open. She’d seen it too: the face of the man on the bridge. The man who’d watched Emily struggling to save her. The man who’d pushed her. The recollection when it finally surfaced was stark in its clarity, where up to now it had been jagged and incomplete. It wasn’t her. She’d been there, shehadfollowed Kara, but she hadn’tpushed her. Relief mixed with acrid grief crashed through her as her mind had flown back there. She’d been on the canal bank, paralysed with fear for an instant. And then she’d run, her heart hammering, choking screams rising inside her. She’d waded into the water, tried to reach her, tried desperately to pull her out. She herself had eventually been dragged from the water hysterical but still breathing. Kara had never drawn breath again.
