Twenty-Four
JASON
Jason had been relieved when Karla said she was going into work. She’d already taken most of the week off and, given how late it was this morning, and how pale she’d looked, he’d wondered whether she would. She needed to be able to function without him.Heneeded her to be able to function without him. Selfish it might be, but he had to know she would find the strength to fight back.
‘Got your bags, kids?’ he asked, glancing at them in the rear-view mirror as he pulled up outside the school.
‘Yeah,’ Holly said, sounding less than enthusiastic as she retrieved her rucksack from the footwell.
‘Josh?’ He turned to his son, whose attention was glued to his iPad. ‘You need to move it or you’ll be late.’
‘Yeah, coming.’ Jabbing at his game a few more times, Josh sighed and then reached half-heartedly for his seat belt.
Neither of them was in the best of moods. Guessing he couldn’t blame them, Jason climbed out to hurry them on. ‘Tablet, Josh,’ he reminded him, as Josh slid from the car, still clutching it.
‘Aw, Dad.’ Josh’s shoulders slumped as he handed it reluctantly over. ‘Will you bring it when you come and collect us?’
‘I’ll bring it.’ Jason smiled tolerantly. He would quite like to have some conversation with him while they drove, but he supposed that Josh probably wouldn’t be very receptive anyway. ‘See you later.’
Giving him a quick hug and ruffling his hair, he straightened his collar and then bent to kiss Holly. His heart skipped a beat, though, as she stepped away.
‘Holly?’ He eyed her questioningly.
Looking uncomfortable, Holly glanced down and then nervously back at him. ‘Are you and Mum not friends any more?’ she asked, her expression a mixture of wariness and mistrust.
Caught off guard, Jason had no idea how to answer. Realising that he and Karla wouldn’t easily be friends again was almost breaking him. Where would that leave their kids?
‘Your mum’s a bit upset with me,’ he said, knowing that much was pretty obvious but offering the only explanation he could. ‘It’s my fault, not hers. Give her a little time, Holly,’ he said, appealing to the adult in her, ludicrously. ‘It’s not you she’s angry with, I promise you.’
‘Did you do something really bad?’ Josh asked, his expression as uncertain as Holly’s.
Jason took a breath and nodded. ‘Really bad,’ he admitted.
Josh studied him, his forehead creasing into a worried frown. ‘Can you fix it?’ he asked him.
If only.Jason felt his heart plummet. There was no way to fix it. ‘I’m trying,’ he said. It was all he had.
‘You should buy her some flowers,’ Josh decided, after a thoughtful second, which had Jason emitting a strangled laugh. He wanted to cry.
‘Maybe you could go out for a romantic meal,’ Holly suggested. ‘I promise not to stay up and watch crap stuff on Netflix if Megan comes and babysits.’
‘It’s a thought,’ Jason said, his throat tight. ‘I’ll ask her. So, do I get a hug?’ He shrugged hopefully. ‘Or…’
He’d been about to ask if he was in her bad books, too, which wouldn’t have been fair, when Holly launched herself at him, giving him a very firm hug, which he badly needed.
After watching until they were safely inside the school doors, he climbed back in his car and debated what to do as he headed for his office. Should he stay and cause Karla more pain, or should he go, which might allow her to interact somewhere near normally with the kids? Him not being there might also give the kids the opportunity to interact normally with her, it occurred to him. As things were, it seemed even Holly and Josh were walking on eggshells.
As he pulled into the car park of Upwards Online, he was no nearer to knowing what to do for the best. He’d lost everything – his wife, his home. If he went, he would be losing touch with his children. He wasn’t sure he could bear that. He was also about to lose this, the company he’d struggled so hard to keep afloat. That much was certain.
After parking up, Jason kneaded his eyes, then climbed out to head wearily for his office. He hadn’t been in there since the day of his meeting with Fenton, other than to drink himself paralytic. Mark and Rachel, who’d both been working 24/7 to try to fix the glitch in their program, would be wondering where the bloody hell he was and what he proposed to do. Jason had gone over it and over it, and the only conclusion he could come to was that there was no obvious solution. He wouldn’t be able to pay them for much longer, or meet his bank loan payments. He was stuffed. He needed to let Mark and Rachel know, and tell them to use the facilities to look for alternative employment.
‘Jase?’ Mark got to his feet as Jason walked into the main office, which was remarkable. Usually, a crowbar was all but required to prise him from in front of his computer. ‘Where thehellhave you been?’ he asked him, sounding not too impressed.
‘We’ve been worried about you,’ Rachel picked up, from where she’d wheelied her office chair away from her PC.
‘Sorry.’ Jason offered her a small smile. ‘I had some things to sort out.’
‘Are you all right?’ Rachel stood up and walked across to him, her expression concerned. ‘You look like shit.’
