“She can handle it,” Griffin adds, offering Rowan a single nod.
I think Griffin understands that my fear of the unknown—of what could happen to me if I’m left here alone again and Jett decides to come back early like he did last time—far outweighs my fear of what could happen with Rowan by my side and my alphas close.
“You better tell us if you sense some shit going on with that mind bond shit you’ve got going on,” Ash says, pointing at Griffin, his lip curling back in a snarl.
The presence of the bond between Griffin and I hasn’t exactly made their relationship any cozier. I’ve noticed a tension in the air that wasn’t there before, but Ash seems to keep things relatively amicable.
Though he seems more aggressive in the sparring matchesthey’ve had in the couple days of training since my heat wrapped up.
It’s been strange for all of us, I think, trying to settle back into our old routine that seemed so peaceful before everything happened.
Now I’m constantly on edge.
I think even Ash and Rage can sense it from me and they don’t have the open channel Griffin does to my emotions.
I’ve been through that artificial heat before. I don’t remember them all, just flashes here or there, but I remember nearly everything about this one.
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget that torturous, burning, never-ending pain that radiated through my entire body. Each heartbeat pumped liquid fire through my body.
And I think what’s haunting me now, especially to see Jett again, is the idea that it could’ve been so much worse.
There was a point where I think I knew in my body and mind that the only thing that could even help to end my suffering was a knot. And even though now that everything is over, the only knots I’d want are from my alphas, the lingering question of whether I would’ve allowed for Jett to violate me lingers in my mind.
If Rowan hadn’t fought to make sure that it was one of my alphas, would I have accepted that fate if it were the only way to stop that torture?
And to make things worse, would I have been forced to bond with someone like Jett to stay alive?
“You’re torturing me here, Sweetheart,” Griffin says, his voice strained.
My head jerks up, and I meet his gaze. His jaw ticks as he stares at me with a heartbroken expression.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” I say, shaking my head.
“Don’t apologize,” Ash says automatically.
I have to purse my lips together to keep from apologizing again.
“Could you come here, Sweetheart?” Griffin murmurs, sinking down onto one knee.
I glance up at Rowan, who’s still standing on the truck bed and he offers me a nod and a hand up.
I feel incredibly awkward climbing up, so I’m grateful for Rowan’s help.
“Is everything okay?” I ask, reaching past the bars of Griffin’s cage and resting my hands on his cheeks.
I’m just barely looking down at him, even though he’s kneeling in front of me. Normally, I’m the one craning my neck to look at all the alphas. I think he’s doing this on purpose.
“I should ask you that,” he says, reaching up and brushing some of my hair away from my face. “What was running through that head of yours?”
I shake my head, my eyes fluttering shut as I lean into his touch.
“Nothing. It’s not important.”
“It’s important to us,” he pushes.
Us.
I like that about Griffin. He’s never once questioned the fact that I like all four of them. I’m sure someone out there would call me selfish for hogging them all, but I don’t think I can find it within me to care.
