I plop down onto the bed, my shoulders sinking. I’m supposed to be mad at him, freshly irritated by his laugh at my self-proclaimed toughness, but I’m so tired. It feels like my week in the hospital was years ago.
Jax comes to sit beside me, his warmth radiating. It’s so much more enticing than the fire that I want to burrow into him, to hide my face in the curve of his neck until my mind stops. But I force myself not to become a mole. There has to be a compromise here somewhere.
“It’s just a little while longer,” he says.
I quickly look up at the ceiling, blinking hard to keep the tears from spilling. “Why?” My voice wavers despite my effort to keep it steady. “I feel like I’m missing something. Even Nix seems like she knows more than me. Why do we have to stay here?”
“It’s safer.”
“Safer than what?” I drop my chin to look at him.
“I don’t think you realize how dangerous it is for me to be distracted by you, Kira.” He exhales and drags his hands down his face. “I’ve been trying to play both sides, but James isn’t stupid. He can see that I’ve been preoccupied. Add in the fact that you and your sister have made an accomplice out of Caleb, and you’re a liability. He won’t hesitate to kill you both.”
Kill us?The nonchalance with which he speaks, as if he’s accepted this, wakes me up, and my voice goes shrill. “What?! Then why are we still here?”
“Because,” he grounds out, though it doesn’t seem like his frustration is at me, “I already fucked up and led Arnold right to you. The more lengths I go to protect you, the more suspicious he becomes. At least here, Arnold can spin his wheels questioning why, if I cared so much, I would bring youhere,of all places. And hopefully, in the meantime, the investigation into Marshal Wayne fizzles out.”
“Marshal?” My stomach turns at the mention, conjuring the scent of burning flesh. “What does Marshal have to do with anything?”
He takes a steadying breath before steepling his fingers in front of his lips, glancing at me from the corner of his eyes. I don’t like the hesitation, and I fear I’m not going to like what he’s about to divulge.
“Kira,” Jax sighs. “Marshal Wayne wasn’t just any cop.”
My brows come together. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“He worked for James. He was the most loyal cop in his pocket.”
The floor falls out below me. Marshal worked for James? James, who employs one of his sons to kill people and uses the other as a punching bag? Oh, God. I’m an even worse judge of character than I thought. I knew he wasn’t exactly legitimate. I mean, he never reported Nix and I, but to be working for James? That’s a whole other level of fucked up that I let into our home.
“Does Nix know?” I ask, clutching my stomach. If I had any inkling that Marshal was dangerous, I never would have let him anywhere near her.
“Considering my brother likes to confide in your sister, I wouldn’t doubt it.”
I start shaking my head, my heart thumping harder. This is way more messy than I thought. If Marshal was bad, and I didn’t see it, then how much am I missing about James? I can’t let Nix be subjected to any more of my mistakes. I have to put my foot down.
“We can’t be here. We have to leave.” I stand.
“You can’t.” Jax stands with me, quickly trapping me in his grip, a wall of heat and muscle. “I can’t be in two places at once.” His eyes roam over me in what feels like desperation. “You’re tearing me in two, Kira.” The desperation turns to pain before he sets his jaw, gaze hardening. “I can’t be distracted, especially not now. For all James’ dirty work, he’s a lawyer to his core. He values justice in his own twisted way. Marshal was one of his first turns. He’ll want someone to answer for that loss.Whether it be handing you over to the department or handling you himself. He’ll consider it two birds with one stone. Twisting the knife in me and righting a wrong.”
“But… if we…” I start and fail, searching his eyes for an option. But there’s no question in his gaze. We’re stuck. As big as this house is, I suddenly feel the walls closing in. My mind is going too fast to latch onto any other option than staying here like a sitting duck.
“Oh, God.” I try to breathe, but the air comes in too fast.
“Kira…?”
I hear him, but I can’thearhim. My heart is pounding too loud in my ears. I grip my chest, suddenly sucking in rapid breaths. My body trembles, and I push Jax away, hoping it’s just him that’s eating up all the oxygen. Spinning around, I take two steps forward and then jerk to the right, the left, forward again, until back again. Fuck, I’m a caged rat. And I can’t breathe.
Gasping, tears fill my eyes.
“I… I…” My attempt at trying to say that I think I’m having a heart attack gets buried in more gasps, every one faster than the last. “Ja—ax—” Panic courses through me, and I turn back to him.
But he’s already there, cupping his hands under my elbows, stooping down to match me at eye level.
“You’re hyperventilating,” he says.
But all I can focus on is his eyes. His voice sounds far away, muffled and unreal.
“I…” My body racks with shuddered breaths, sending the vision of concern on his features into a blur.
