“Wait,” she mouths back, and I can read that impatient look she reserves just for me.
Wait for what? For Jax to shoot us? She’s lost her fucking mind. I swear to God, I’m going to die of another heart attack before they can even put me in an orange jumpsuit. Does she not see how deep of shit we’re in? Jax Landon has become a ‘clean up’ guy who carries a gun, and Caleb isn’t going to be able to stop him. Jax wants to protect his little brother from being an accomplice, no matter the cost. I know the feeling. And the frustration that comes along with it. He’s not thinking clearly, just like I wasn’t thinking clearly when I let us cart a body into the woods.
“He. Wants. To. Kill. Us,”I hiss silently.
“Relax,”she mouths with an eye roll.
“You fucking relax!”I practically spit in my effort to not scream the words.“Run!”
“No!”
“Yes!”
“No!”
“I’m going to fucking—”
“If you run,” Jax suddenly interjects with a lazy drawl, “I’ll chase you. And let’s be honest, you don’t look like you’ll make it very far.”
The audacity.
The absolute migraine-inducing audacity.
“Fuck you,” I snap at him and then spin. “Nix, run!”
I take off, planning on ripping her shoulder out of its socket when I near her if she’s not already moving. But I make it all of three paces before an arm wraps around my waist, lifting me clean off the ground and hauling me back. Anger surges through me, and I thrash, but black dots quickly swarm my vision. I kick, and I scratch at his arm with everything I have, but infuriatingly, it’s not much. My limbs are heavy, searing under the exertiontoo quickly, and all the rage and desperation bottlenecks inside of me.
Hot tears burn my eyes at the realization that I’m too weak to fight him off, too weak to expel what I’m feeling. Gasping pants come ragged from my chest, and I can’t even scream. With painful defeat, I sag in his hold, much quicker than I ever would’ve if my body hadn’t been sabotaged by a literal torn artery. It’s actually comical, and I can’t tell if I’m crying or laughing as he lowers me to my knees.
With one hand gripping my chest, I let the other brace myself in the gravel as I choke around my breaths, unable to take in enough oxygen.
“Wow,” Jax says. “That was, uh, not as fun as I’d hoped.”
Footsteps stomp up, and I hear a smack of palm on hard chest. “She just had a heart attack, you asshole!” Nix yells.
There’s a crunching beside me, and I feel Nix put her hand on my back. “Just breathe,” she coos, kneeling.
“A heart attack? She’s barely thirty.”
“Yes, dick,” Caleb says, and then there’s more crunching, and he’s on my other side. “Put your arm around my shoulder. I’ll help you up,” Caleb says to me.
“You guys aren’t fucking with me?”
“No!” Nix and Caleb snap in unison.
They hook their arms under mine, but I don’t budge. I can’t. I can’t breathe, and I can’t let go of my chest. If I do, I’m sure my heart will explode right out of its cavity. I dig my nails into the gravel, trying to trade one pain for the other.
“Come on,” Nix urges.
I shake my head, too breathless to form words.
“You can do it,” Caleb says in my other ear.
I shake again.
I can’t. Ican’t, and more tears pour down my cheeks. This is such bullshit. The anger is still inside of me, burning rightthrough me. I can’t calm down. I can’t calm my heart. I can’t calm my breathing. I’m combusting from the inside.
“Move.” Jax’s voice booms above me.
