But she may tell Elado. I kept my mouth shut. We had orders. I focused on them.
The flight happened without a hitch. We landed at the base of the mountain. Roys departed first, followed by our team, save me. I remained in the cockpit with the survey team. Once Roys deemed the area safe, the survey team practically teleported outside. Maddy followed Elado toward the flora while I kept the shuttle ready to go if need be.
A holo screen in the cockpit monitored the trackers. The ship’s scanner, while not the top model, registered more than our commlinks. If anything dangerous came our way, I could notify everyone. Flicking through their comms, listening in, chatting with Arana kept me busy; otherwise, I would have done something foolish sitting there stewing in thoughts of Roys and that damn storage room.
Was he checking? Did he use again? What if he took too much?
He hadn’t been using prior to this mission, at least there weren't any signs. Taking one of those damn vials could have killed him. If he were smart, he would have split the vials into smaller batches to get himself used to the synthetic again. In which case, he could be fine. I wasn’t worried.
“Did you fall asleep in there?” Roys stood outside the shuttle’s main doors, speaking to me through a private channel.
I had the doors shut and locked. Good thing nothing terrible happened, and they were running here to shout at me to open the doors, otherwise they would have made a nice snack for the flora.
Steadying myself, I replied, “No.”
The doors opened. Roys fell into the co-pilot seat and removed his visor. My eyes followed the trail of sweat that ran along his chiseled jaw. My attention lingered on his chest rising and falling, unlike the vision that plagued my night. I wanted to reach out and feel his heart racing steadily and let myself believe nothing was wrong at all.
“I was coming to check on you. Figured you would get bored,” he explained.
“I am… so entertain me with a quickie.”
He offered a kiss that shouldn’t have made my toes curl. “I’d love to ruin you right here and now, but we are working and I can’t afford your distractions.”
That should have had me making a lewd remark, but I thought of his armbands, his eyes bright and smile wide, except it had nothing to do with me, just that darkness swirling through his ruined veins.
Roys fell back where he caught sight of the trackers. “Who’s older, you or your sister?”
“She is, by two years,” I replied, somehow grateful for the distraction. Maddy could make or ruin my day, but for the moment, I would take any topic if it meant clearing my head.
“Makes sense.”
“What are you implying?”
“She’s more mature than you.”
I guffawed. “She threatened to castrate me.”
“Which was entirely understandable given the situation.” He scratched his arm.
I kept my eyes ahead. He came here to make sure I was doing my job, and then he would wander off to check on the others. It wouldn’t last long. I would forget about all this shit because it wasn’t my problem.
“This is the part where you ask if I have siblings,” he said.
“Is it? I’m not that interested, though.” I tasted the lie as if I had eaten something sour. That sourness bled into my aching teeth, down my throat, burning my esophagus. “Do you have siblings?”
Roys smiled out of the corner of my eye, then that smile fell. “I did, although I never met them. Two older brothers, twins, apparently. I was two when they got sick, taken by a plague caused by all the garbage the High Risers dropped on us.”
The Colony wasn’t much different. Illness spread easily. Though most illnesses had cures, we didn’t have the credits. Humanity traveled throughout the galaxy and found worlds beyond worlds, but you could die of a fever because of imaginary currency. Money laid the path of life as swiftly as ending it.
“Thanks for that depressing story.” I ran a thumb over my exoskin, counting the grooves between pieces.
“The one you have with Madlyn is no doubt depressing, too.” But he didn’t ask, although the option to talk lingered. He waited. He watched. I felt his attention, not scrutinizing or judgemental, simply there and ready to take whatever I offered.
I offered nothing, too dangerous. He found the cracks in my armor I believed to be sealed. He took over the spaces to make entirely his own, a command center that could shatter every logical decision.
“I’m glad the two of you are on speaking terms, somewhat,” he went on.
“We won’t ever have what we used to,” I muttered, feeling lower than ever, thinking of her and the Colony and Roys, how our past wouldn’t let go of us. I traded one cell for another, deluding myself into believing that, since one was bigger, then it was better.
