Venetia had thought of Lucien a lot since she’d told Cassie about him; well, in truth she’d thought a lot of him before and since moving here. How could she not? He’d always been there in the background of her life. A forever presence. A lingering shadow. She couldn’t quite decide whether coming back to Hope Hall had been an act of closure for her, or more an act of hope, a way to relive the happy times they’d spent together. Before it had all gone wrong.
A dainty sneeze followed quickly by another from Bon-Bon who was curled up on Nina’s sun lounger with her, had Venetia turning to look at him.
‘That dog is such a little tart,’ she said, good-humouredly, ‘he’s so free and easy with his affections.’
Nina laughed. ‘I know perfectly well that I’m a poor substitute for his true love,’ she said, ‘and that’s Cassie.’
Venetia laughed too. ‘Like any male of the species, he’ll take his pleasure where he can.’
Reaching over Bon-Bon for the bottle of wine on the low table between them, Nina tilted it towards Venetia. ‘Top-up?’ she asked.
‘Why not? But only if I’m not outstaying my welcome. I know how busy you are.’
‘You’re fine to stay, it’s Sunday, my official day of rest. Your being here gives me the excuse to do nothing, otherwise I’d be compelled to deal with the VAT paperwork for my accountant.’
‘I’m glad to have saved you from that,’ Venetia said when her glass was replenished. ‘Any time you need the excuse to be lazy, I’m only downstairs. Not that I want you to think I’m one of those awful neighbours who can’t respect boundaries.’
‘You’ve never given me cause to think that you would,’ Nina said, ‘it’s always a pleasure to spend time with you. And this handsome little chap as well,’ she added, gently cupping Bon-Bon’s head in her hands. ‘I’m still amazed that you’ve managed to get away with concealing him as well as you have.’
‘People mostly see what they want to see,’ Venetia said. ‘Nobody expects me to have a dog here, therefore I don’t have one. It’s a classic case of hiding in plain sight. And who would suspect a respectable old woman like me of defying the rules?’
‘Who indeed?’ responded Nina, staring off into the distance. ‘It’s always interesting how other people perceive us, and how we perceive ourselves. I’ve thought about that a lot recently.’
‘In what respect?’
Nina swung her gaze back to meet Venetia’s. ‘I feel like I’m in danger of not knowing who I am anymore. One minute I was Hugh’s wife, then I was his widow, now I’m the kind of woman who makes a disgusting spectacle of herself at weddings.’
Venetia tutted. ‘That, my dear girl, if you’re referring to what you told me about your mother-in-law when she went berserk, is blatantly not true! And you’ll be doing yourself a great disservice if you give an ounce of credence to anything she said. You kissed an attractive man, who from what I’ve seen of him sees you as a beautiful woman to whom he’s more than a little attracted. No, no,’ she said, lifting a hand to stop Nina from interrupting her, ‘I saw the way his eyes barely left you the evening of the exhibition at the gallery, and I know what I saw!’
With a light laugh, Nina said, ‘You make him sound like a creepy stalker.’
Venetia smiled. ‘That wasn’t my intention. But my word, he’s a fine chap and I would definitely throw my cap into the ring if I were fifty years younger.’
‘He seems to like an older woman, so don’t rule yourself out.’
Venetia tutted again. ‘Good Lord, am I really going to have to waste my breath disabusing you of the absurd notion that an age gap is of any consequence? Two of my husbands were younger than I was and not for one moment did I let it bother me!’
‘Two? How many were there?’
‘There were three in all,’ answered Venetia, amused at the surprised expression on Nina’s face. ‘And yes, I fully accept that to lose one husband might be considered unfortunate but to lose three smacks of wilful carelessness. They died, if you’re wondering what happened to them, and not by my hand I might add!’
‘The thought never crossed my mind,’ said Nina smoothly. ‘But I don’t recall you ever mentioning being married before now.’
‘Oh, I’m far more interested in other people. After all, I know everything there is to know about me and my dull old life.’
‘I doubt your life has ever been dull. And it might seem an odd thing to say,’ Nina continued, her hands now fondling Bon-Bon’s ears, ‘but you always give the impression of having travelled through life alone. You seem so self-contained.’ Her gaze slid towards Venetia’s left hand. ‘You never wear a ring on that finger.’
‘Occasionally I do, it depends on my mood and the situation.’ Venetia’s own gaze glanced towards Nina’s left hand. ‘I notice you always wear your rings. Would I be right in thinking you can’t bring yourself to take them off?’
Nina nodded. ‘They’re like a comfort blanket.’
‘I’m sure they are, but do you really need a comfort blanket? Is there not a danger that the rings are anchoring you to the past? Which I can understand you needed in the beginning, but that was then, and forgive me if I’m wrong, but I believe you’re in a very different place now.’
Seconds passed before Nina replied. ‘You’re right, but sometimes I hate the thought that I am in a different place. It feels wrong.’
‘That’s only human. Whatever happens, Hugh will always be with you in your heart; but your happiness depends on you being able to imagine a new future for yourself, which may or may not include a new partner. And there, my dear girl, endeth today’s lesson. Apologies for going on so much.’
Nina drank from her wineglass, her eyes seemingly fixed on a faraway point in the sky. ‘You’re not saying anything I haven’t thought or been told before,’ she said at length, ‘I know what I’m supposed to do, just as I know Hugh wouldn’t want me to be stuck in this … this awful ninth circle of hell.’ She took another sip of her wine. Then: ‘Sorry, I’m being overly dramatic and that’s not me at all.’
