He’d known very early on in their online friendship while still using the grief support group that he was guilty of obfuscation, but what the hell! He believed he deserved to be happy. Everyone deserved to be happy, even Hilary. Nina too. Life was for the living; Hugh would have been the first to agree with that.
He showered, shaved, dressed, and went downstairs. There was no sign of Hilary and when he looked out of the hall window, he saw that her car had gone from the driveway. He had no idea where she’d gone, but he was relieved to have the kitchen to himself while he made himself breakfast.
When he’d eaten two slices of toast and drunk a mug of strong coffee, he placed his mug, plate and knife in the dishwasher and went back upstairs to retrieve the suitcases he’d packed last night. After he’d stowed them in the boot of the car, he awaited Hilary’s return. He had no idea how long she would be. He was tempted to pour himself a glass of Dutch courage, but he wasn’t sure he could stop at just the one glass.
At half past twelve he heard Hilary’s car on the drive. He breathed in deeply, listened for her key in the lock, the door closing, and then her sharp staccato footsteps on the oak flooring in the hall.
‘We need to talk,’ he said, uttering the cliché of all clichés when she came into the kitchen where he’d been waiting.
‘I have nothing to say to you,’ she said, dumping her handbag on the dresser.
‘Too bad, I have plenty I want to say to you and for once in your life you’re going to listen. You might just as well sit down.’
She stared at him as though not quite believing the way he’d spoken to her. But she ignored his instruction to sit down.
‘I’ve tried my hardest to be sympathetic towards you, Hilary,’ he said, ‘but no more. I’m all out of sympathy, it’s time now for me to do what’s right for me, not you.’
Her expression flipped from disbelief to one of deep scorn. ‘You’ve always done what’s right for you. You’re a weak man, Keith and I despise you for that.’
‘I agree with you, I’ve been shamefully weak, and I’ll have to live with that knowledge. But what I won’t stand for is how disgracefully you behaved towards Nina.’
‘I did nothing wrong,’ she asserted, her body ramrod stiff, her gaze steely.
‘How can you say that? You assaulted her! You attacked your son’s wife … our daughter-in-law! She could have pressed charges against you. The fact that she didn’t speaks volumes about the kind of decent woman she is.’
‘She’s no longer my daughter-in-law,’ Hilary stated almost robotically. ‘She’s nothing to me.’
‘I’m sure the feeling is mutual from Nina’s perspective.’ He shook his head. ‘I can’t imagine how appalled Hugh would be at what you did.’
She flinched at that. ‘And what would my darling Hugh have thought, seeing his wife flaunting herself the way she did! Kissing another man, and in front of his family!’
‘That’s the whole point,’ Keith said, and going over to her. ‘Hugh wasn’t there, he’s dead and gone and I thank God that he is.’ He paused before going on. He swallowed and forced himself to continue. ‘Hilary,’ he said, ‘it pains me to say this, but you’re unwell and you can’t go on like this.Wecan’t go on like this,’ he added. ‘I can’t stand by and watch you destroy not just yourself, but me as well. I’m leaving you. I should have done it before, but I didn’t have the courage then.’
That was when Hilary raised her hand to strike him, just as she had with Nina. He caught hold of her slender wrist, gritting his teeth as he did so, scarcely containing his own need for physical violence. They stood there locked in a moment of seething silence, each staring at the other with what he recognised as intense loathing.
Yes, he’d reached the point where he loathed his wife. No more could he pretend he was easy-going Keith prepared to tolerate the put-downs, batting them off with self-deprecating comments.
That Keith was dead.
As dead as his marriage.
And as dead as their dear son, Hugh.
Chapter Twenty-Two
September had proved to be one of the warmest on record, but there were signs now that the intensity of the long hot summer was coming to an end. The light had assumed a gentle golden hue, casting far-reaching shadows across the landscape. Parched and curled-up leaves on the trees whispered conspiratorially on the warm breeze. It really had seemed as though autumn would never come, that these endless days of summer and soft cornflower-blue skies would be with them forever. But change was coming and that made days like this feel such a gift, a chance to take a breath and simply be in the moment.
That was how Venetia felt, dreamily in the moment and wholly at peace as she stretched out her legs on the comfortable sun lounger. She was with Nina on her splendid roof terrace that was furnished with stylish garden furniture and a couple of olive trees in large planters.
Being in the moment was what she had implored Nina to do, to live her life just as she wanted to live it and to hell with what anyone else thought. Especially that mother-in-law of hers. From all accounts, the woman needed professional help to get over the death of her son. Maybe some anger management wouldn’t go amiss!
Nina’s father-in-law had apparently tried to help his wife but had bailed out and for the time being, at Nina’s invitation, wasstaying with her until he found a more permanent arrangement. Venetia had met him several times since he’d moved in with Nina and had found him to be a very agreeable man. Nina said he was an easy guest to have around and was even helping at the gallery.
After the summer exhibition at Lavelle’s, Jakob had resigned and had gone to Oslo for a holiday and to consider his future. Venetia suspected there was more to it than that, but she wasn’t going to pry. Very likely Nina had shared more with her parents who’d come over from the States for a couple of weeks. Venetia had met them just before they flew back to the US and had liked them enormously. It was plain to see that Nina took after her mother in looks, who was tall, slender and elegance personified.
Today Keith was seeing his ‘lady friend’ as Nina coyly referred to the woman with whom Keith had struck up a relationship through an online grief support group. In his absence, Nina had invited Venetia for an al fresco lunch, during which Venetia had been struck, from this high vantage point, by how little the view of the grounds below them had changed since her childhood days.
She and Lucien often used to climb the rickety fire escape ladder and sneak up here, usually when they had wanted to make a change from going off to the woods to sit and chat. They had lain on their backs counting the stars and whispered their hopes and dreams to each other.
