She nodded. ‘I know.’
‘Call if you need help getting out of the bath.’
‘I will,’ she said, knowing that the bath would turn to a block of ice before she’d ask for help.
Unfortunately, her injured foot slipped as she got into the bath. She wasn’t hurt but it meant that she went under the water and so got her hair wet. Antoine had definitely told her not to try and wash her hair but now her hair was wet, she might as well.
She got as much mud off her body and hair as she could, and rinsed herself. The water was very murky. As she hauled herself up, using the taps for support, she decided she would clean the bath out tomorrow, when she was a bit more mobile and not so freezing cold.
She leant on the wall as she dried herself and dragged her nightdress and dressing gown on over her still damp body. Then she did what she could do to dry her hair and opened the door.
Antoine was there. His disapproval was evident when he saw her hair was wet.
‘I fell,’ she said before he could say anything. ‘Just help me get into bed.’
Although Antoine had replaced the hot-water bottle, Alexandra was still cold and shivering.
‘It’s because your hair’s wet,’ he said. ‘I’ll get another towel.’
He rubbed her hair, which was still a bit gritty. ‘A hot drink,’ he said. ‘I’ll get it.’
Alexandra curled into a ball, thinking she’d never be warm again but at least she was safe and not lying in a stream waiting for a boar to trample her.
‘Here,’ said Antoine. ‘Hot milk. I hope you like it.’
Alexandra drank it and it did help but she was still cold. ‘I can’t decide if I want the hot-water bottle on my feet or on my body,’ she said through chattering teeth.
He stood watching her for a few seconds before kicking off his shoes and getting into bed with her.
‘We must get you warmed up’ he said.
He put his arm under her head, pulling her to him. She put her arm over him, and then she put her head on his chest and closed her eyes.
All the brandy she had drunk must have sent her to sleep for a few seconds, she realised, because suddenly she was awake and knew what she had to do. It would be hard but it would give her a memory she could hold in her heart forever, along with the moment in the forest when she really felt he loved her. If she let the moment pass she might never forgive herself. David had told her that, for the most part, it was the things you didn’t do that caused regret, not the things you did.
‘Antoine,’ she whispered.
‘Yes?’
‘Will you make love to me?’
She felt shock jolt through his body and hurried on, before he could stop her. Not being able to see his face made it easier.
‘Because I know that soon I’ll have to go away, get on with real life, and put all the time I’ve spent at the chateau, where I’ve been so happy, behind me. I know one day I’ll meet a suitable man and will probably get engaged to him and sleep with him.’ She took a breath. ‘And it’ll be fine. I won’t marry someone I don’t love but I want you to be the first. I want the first man I fell in love with to be the man I first …’ She swallowed. She wasn’t quite brave enough to go into too much detail. ‘I just want you to be the first,’ she repeated.
The few seconds’ silence before he replied went on for hours.
‘Mignonne,’ said Antoine. ‘I don’t know what to say. I am so … flattered—’
‘You don’t need to speak,’ she said quickly, before he could say anything even more devastating. ‘Just – do what I’ve asked. Please.’
He shifted so his head was resting on his hand, so they weren’t so entwined and he could talk to her. ‘I love you too much to do that.’
‘If you love me, why won’t you make love to me?’
‘There are so many reasons …’
‘Like what?’
