‘The most practical reason is you could become pregnant. I know people say it cannot happen the first time—’
‘But it can. I know that,’ said Alexandra. ‘What are your other reasons?’
‘We can’t get past the first reason. If you were pregnant we’d have to get married and I can’t marry you!’
‘Why not?’ There was a catch in her voice. ‘What’s wrong with me?’
‘There is nothing wrong with you. Every hair on your head, every cell in your body is beautiful. You are the most wonderful woman I have ever met. You are intelligent, brave, kind, funny, you seem to love my children almost as much as I do, and you risked your life for a dog! Or maybe it was for Stéphie – it’s not important. You are a true heroine.’
‘But?’
‘I am too old for you and you are an heiress. If I marry you, what will everyone think? And say?’
‘Do we have to care what people think and say?’
‘Perhaps not, but nothing is going to change the age gap, or the fact that you work for me. You’ve been in a vulnerable position. Your reputation—’
‘Surely people get married to save their reputation?’
‘Not in this case!’
She held on to his jumper. ‘I want a beautiful memory—’
‘You’ll have a life full of beautiful memories. Go to sleep now. Think how happy Stéphie is going to be when she sees Milou. Rest. You’ve had a huge adventure. You need to sleep.’
He wriggled out from under the covers but stayed on top of them, stroking her forehead until she went to sleep.
She woke up with a headache. Too much brandy, she thought. And then the memory of what had happened with Antoine swept over her like a tidal wave. Sweat prickled her hairline. She felt sick. How much was hangover and how much was crushing embarrassment she couldn’t tell. She only knew that she wanted to die – or, better, be hundreds of miles away from Antoine.
She got out of bed slowly. Her muscles were very stiff but her ankle seemed better. She could almost walk on it properly. She still limped as she went to the bathroom but she was moving much more easily than she had been the night before.
A quick glance was enough to tell her how ghastly she looked: pale, with hair that stuck up at funny angles and was still damp.
She went back to her room and got dressed. It took ages. She put on a skirt that she could wear with her Chanel jacket. She found tights and her one pair of court shoes. She was leaving.
At the top of the stairs she listened for sounds of Antoine. There were noises from the kitchen and then she heard David’s voice saying something to Milou. This gave her courage to think that maybe Antoine wasn’t around. She tiptoed to his door and listened to see if he was still asleep. Nothing. The door wasn’t properly shut so she pressed it with her finger so it opened enough for her to see that he wasn’t there.
Relief and disappointment battled for a few seconds before relief won. She couldn’t face seeing him ever again. Leaning heavily on the bannister, she got down the stairs.
‘Lexi! You should have called! I’d have helped you down,’ said David. His gaze flicked over her, obviously taking in her clothes, her state of mind. ‘Are you all right?’
She nodded. ‘I have to leave. As soon as possible. Do you know where Antoine is?’
David nodded. ‘We met on the drive. He’s gone back to Nice to pick up the family.’
Alexandra sank on to a chair. ‘He obviously can’t face seeing me. I can see his point – I can’t face seeing him.’
‘OK, tea first and then tell me why. If you want to.’
It was cathartic telling David everything. He didn’t comment, he just refilled her mug of tea, put food in front of her and listened.
‘I don’t suppose there’s any point in trying to persuade you to change your mind about leaving?’ he said at last.
‘No. I can’t face seeing Antoine again. I have to go. Please explain to Stéphie and the others that I was called away suddenly. They won’t mind if they’ve got Milou.’ She got up. ‘I must find train times to Paris and ring Donna.’ She paused. ‘And if she can’t have me I’ll go back to the little pension I stayed in before. I’ll be fine. I’ll get a train to Switzerland as soon as I can.’
‘Really?’ said David. ‘Why not enjoy Paris for a little bit first? You had planned that originally, remember.’
She nodded. ‘Well, if Donna can have me, maybe I will.’
