Easy for him to say. How was I supposed to make such an impossible decision? I couldn’t stay away from Asteria, circumstances didn’t allow it, and being around her meant my control slipping entirely. The thought of not seeing her sent a sharp lance of pain to my chest, and I attempted to rub it away, but it lingered.
The thought of my mate only added to it. She was somewhere out there, and here I was, dishonoring her. What would happen when I found her? This was a mess, that was certain. I’d wanted a mate since I first discovered the concept of them. A womanwho wouldn’t be with me just for the crown on my head—to get one of her own. The number of women who had thrown themselves at me hoping to be queen was uncountable, so I’d kept away from serious relationships, not trusting the motives of those who approached me.
Fighting and fucking were great outlets over the centuries. The pressure on me was intense, even back then. Learning how to be a good king, raising my sister, my birth prophecy—every person in the Night Kingdom knew that one day my queen would come thanks to that prophecy. That she would bring light to my darkness, and together, we’d bring this land into a new age. They knew I would be responsible for great change, which probably helped when it came to my abolishing slavery. But it also meant tons of women who yearned to be the one the prophecy spoke of. I’d learned to keep my exploits to a night only—okay, or a week—but never longer.
And loneliness lingered underneath it all. The thought of a mate to chase away that loneliness, to love me for all that I was, to support me, to help me rule, to bring in that new age together—it was indeed a light to my darkness, keeping me going in a whole new way once my mark came in.
And now—I didn’t know what to do, how to handle this. For once, I was at a complete loss.
So, I spread my wings, and took off into the sky, leaving Eryx and Baach to bicker on the balcony. I let my body shift into my dragon form, hoping flying would help me empty my mind as I let my rage bubble out, my flames shooting across the sky.
But as I flew through the stars—all I saw was her.
Chapter 33
“
U
gh!”I grunted as I punched with all my might.
“Again!” Titan nodded. I readjusted my fists and then aimed for the pad he was holding.
“Mmfh.” I shook out my fist after that one, flexing my fingers. Titan was watching me with a raised brow.
“What’s with you today?” He questioned with a critical eye. “You’re letting your aggression overcome your instincts.”
I gave him a pouty glare he was completely unimpressed by. I threw my hands up in the air and turned away, unraveling the tape wound around my fists. I was letting my mind trip up my body; it was as simple as that. Since the night of the ball, when Calix and I had crossed that line—he’d been ignoring me.
Dodging me whenever possible, I only really saw him during meetings. With the information from Sunset about the alliance and Cyrus’s plans, we had to make a move to show Sunset why itwas a bad idea to mess us up. Calix managed to avoid my eyes in meetings too. It had been four days, and my patience with him was quickly drying up.
Harpina put a hand on my shoulder, and I looked up at her. “What’s going on, Asteria? You and Calix have both been weird for days.”
While she said it without any heat or accusation, I couldn’t help feeling like it was there anyway. Harpina had been against whatever this was between us from the start. I knew she was trying to protect us both, but still, I couldn’t exactly confide in her about this without proving she was exactly right.
“I’m fine.” I forced a smile. “Just anxious about the meeting today.” That was true enough. We’d been going in circles with the information, and I wanted a plan of action—wanted a chance to unleash the rage that bubbled inside me.
She looked me over, narrowing her eyes, as she tilted her head, inspecting me. “Come with me.”
I followed her, still in my training gear with cloud leather leggings and an armored corset made of dragon scale with straps about two inches wide. The armbands I wore came up over my elbow and had finger holes to allow for full range of movement. Harpina was in her full black leather armor, sword hanging at her side as she marched through the palace gates.
The gates were reinforced stained glass that depicted a crescent moon and stars, with a dragon twining itself around the moon. The reflection of the sun against it was striking, but its beauty was amplified at night—the magic of this kingdom enhancing everything after dark. My earlier thoughts of battle with Dusk sparked my curiosity as I eyed the gate.
“What would happen if an enemy ever invaded?” I asked Harpina as we walked. “There are no walls or fortifications around the palace.”
“Is that so?” She smirked, amber eyes lighting up as she looked back at me.
“What do you mean?” I cocked my head, narrowing my eyes at her.
She shook her head, red hair flying back and forth. “Calix’s ancestors wanted this city to be beautiful, to showcase the wonder and majesty of the magic that imbues this land.”
I could well understand that. I remembered Calix’s pride when he showed me the city for the first time, as I gaped at the magnificence of the kingdom laid before me. Now, as we exited Shadowgleam District, Harpina led me to an arching bridge that led from Shadowgleam to Starshine, extending across the edge of Moonglow District to connect them, with several staircases along its length so you could depart in different areas.
Harpina continued as we walked onto the bridge, its path a shining pearlescent pink while the barriers on each side were light gray stone accented with onyx handles and rails down each side. “But just because they wanted to showcase its beauty, didn’t mean they were fools. They built defenses that could be raised if the city ever came under attack. Underground, there are giant barrier walls that can be erected in moments around both the city and the palace.”
“Where?” My eyes widened in disbelief.
“They wouldn’t be very good defenses if they were easily spotted, now would they?” Harpina smiled, showing too many teeth. “There’s also a fortress built into the Etheralta Mountains. Though shared with Day, the mountains on our side must be protected, nonetheless. The miners live there now, but in the event of an emergency, everyone knows they can flee the capital and head there. It’s built to hold the entirety of the city within its walls.”
