For Tobias, that sentence was practically a speech. That it was deeply unrelated to the topic was frustrating. ‘That was not what I…’
Tobias held up his hand. Christopher waited for him to say something and then waited some more. Eventually, his brother continued, ‘You are a good man, Christopher. You looked up to Sebastian and then he was gone. I should have done more to support you but…’ Tobias closed his eyes for a moment. ‘Do not shape your life believing it has to be a certain way, just because of past events. Open yourself to other possibilities.’ Silence fell. Christopher waited for more, but that appeared to be the end of Tobias’ advice.
Leaning slowly back into the seat, he tried to make sense of his brother’s words and how it was relevant to his current situation. The brandy tugged on his senses, making it hard to concentrate on anything other than closing his eyes. At some point, he must have staggered to bed, because he awoke the following morning with a terrible headache and no further idea on what to do for the best.
Chapter Seventeen
Acurl tickled Sophia’s cheek. She brushed it away, annoyed with herself that she had succumbed to wearing the pretty yet impractical style. Too many compliments when she had last worn it this way had turned her head and now she would spend the whole outing distracted by her decision, which was pointless anyway, because, for the most part, she would be wearing a bonnet.
‘Now,’ said Mama, bustling across the room to adjust Sophia’s already perfect neckline. ‘While you are travelling to the Royal Academy together, do not let Robert talk you out of your betrothal to Lord Christopher.’
Sophia jerked back from her mother’s touch. ‘Whatever do you mean by that?’
Her mother followed her, reaching out to adjust the dress again. ‘Sophia Jane Jacobs, there is no need for the indignant innocence act. I am your mother. I know everything there is to know about you.’
Swallowing, Sophia turned away, looking towards the window. A sparrow landed on her bedroom windowsill, its fat, round body somehow soothing as it pecked at something she could not see. It was impossible for Mama to knoweverything. Sophia would die if anyone guessed the contents of the dream she’d had last night. The brush of lips against the skin of her neck had felt so real. The murmur of hername, soft and drowsy with the hint of something else had sounded close to her ear, as if Christopher were in the room with her. She had woken with her skin tingling, like his fingers had just finished tracing her body and he’d merely stepped out of the room for a moment.
‘Well,’ said her mother, looking at her face, ‘perhaps I do not know precisely everything.’
Sophia’s skin burned, hotter than a thousand fires. There was no need for her to be embarrassed. It was not as if Christopher acted in such a way when they were together. He was a perfect gentleman.
Mama tutted, but thankfully she didn’t press. Instead, she carried on with her lecture. ‘I know you think you know best when it comes to this situation, but you cannot see clearly. Robert kept you dangling long enough. Now that a rich and handsome young man has snapped you up, he has come to town. Anyone would be suspicious of his motives, but as your mother, I am doubly so. You should not allow yourself to get into a situation where it is just the two of you, because I am almost positive he will take this opportunity to try and convince you to end things with Lord Christopher. Despite being a sensible young man in most respects, Robert might even suggest an elopement. And that, my dear, would be foolish indeed.’
The sparrow darted away, and Sophia could not think of anything to say. It didn’t seem necessary to add anything, because her mother carried on. ‘It is not that I dislike Robert. I know that you two have been friends for many years, and of course, his mother is a dear, dear friend of mine. Years ago, I did hope that you might wed her son, and I know that you thought so too. But any man who thinks he can keep one of my daughters waiting for years is a toad as far as I am concerned.’
‘That rather sounds like you do not like him after all.’
‘Theoretically, I like him,’ said Mama, stepping back and eyeing her handiwork with the neckline. ‘Practically, I do not.’
‘That makes no sense.’
Mama tutted again, this time adjusting one of Sophia’s sleeves. ‘You thinking he is good enough to wait for makes no sense. You are a beautiful young woman, Sophia, with a clear, sensible head on your pretty shoulders. Robert should have proposed to you as soon as you made your come out. It is no wonder he regrets his mistake. Another man was always going to court you, so he should not really be surprised. Who would not want you?’
Sophia’s heart twisted. She wasn’t quite sure how to react to this mild rapprochement combined with motherly love. Still, the betrothal wasn’t quite how her mother was painting it. ‘Have you forgotten how this engagement came about, Mama? Lord Christopher and I were forced into it by a group of busybodies who would not take no for an answer.’
‘Of course, it was an unconventional beginning and we are all grateful for the way your betrothed has handled it. I did worry that it would be a disaster, but it is obvious that you are meant for one another. One only need see you together to see how perfectly matched you are. Lord Christopher is a lucky man.’
A knot of guilt twisted in Sophia’s stomach. She should never have allowed Christopher to persuade her not to tell the truth from the beginning. Mama would be utterly crushed when their marriage did not come about after all. It might push Sophia even further out of the family circle than she already was. Her heart skipped a beat as for one, wild moment she thought about asking Christopher to go through with the wedding after all. If he did not want to marry because he did not want to be tied down, then that was fine. They could live separate lives. He could still go on his travels. She would never insist that hereturn from them. It need not be a marriage in truth. She would not bother him and… and it was a preposterous idea. Neither of them would want to live like that. Sophia wanted children and one could not produce a baby by oneself. If Christopher was against tying himself down to a wife, he would never agree to the biggest tie of them all—a child. No, she would carry on with her plan. She would meet again with Robert, to see whether she had been right in her initial assessment of his character. Her mother might prefer Lord Christopher, but she did not know all the facts, and it was not she who would be in the marriage for the rest of her life.
Taking a deep breath, she patted her mother’s hand. ‘Do not worry. Nobody will make me do anything that I do not want to.’
‘Hm.’ Her mother didn’t sound satisfied by that response, which was fair. If Robert offered, and if Sophia agreed, then she would marry him. If she decided they did not suit after all – her stomach somersaulted at the thought – well… she would worry about that should the need arise.
‘We are only going to the Albizzi exhibition, Mama. We are not eloping.’
‘And Lord Christopher is meeting you there.’
‘He is.’ Her heart fluttered strangely at the thought. They had not spoken since dinner at her parents’ home a few days ago, but they had exchanged several notes. Daily. What started out as a brief missive informing her that he would not be able to accompany her to the exhibition, but would be able to meet her there, had turned into a correspondence that had stretched over three days. Some notes had been a few sentences long, others longer as they had taken to describing details about their days. Yesterday, she’d told him of her guilt at destroying a spider’s web and how she had carried the tiny creature outside to try and find it the perfect home, only to see it geteaten by a larger spider almost immediately. She’d thought he would enjoy the absurdity of the detail, but almost half a day had passed before she had received his reply. Enough time to convince herself he did not care for such boring tales and that she should have kept it to herself.
His answering letter had been two pages long and had covered an amusing anecdote about his brother Edward, his niece Lotte and an overripe apple that had had her giggling to herself at random moments ever since.
Even so, she had thought he might pull out of the trip to the exhibition. If his intention was for Robert to step in and end this betrothal, then it might have been better for her to spend the afternoon alone with Robert instead. It would give plenty of time for Robert to make his intentions clear. Not only that, but she shouldwantto keep company with Robert without anyone else around. Time in private should help her decide if she wanted to marry him after all, or whether she had been hanging on to an unfeasible fantasy for too long.
Rubbing her forehead with the tips of her fingers, she tried to ease the building headache. She was overthinking this. Christopher was becoming her friend, that was all. Robert may or may not be interested in marrying her after all, but if she did not want to go through with that in the end, she did not need to. She may be heading towards becoming an old maid at one and twenty, but she wasn’t quite in her dotage. If she and Christopher could find a non-scandalous way out of their betrothal, then there was still time to find a husband and, if she didn’t, she could always become a devoted aunt to the nieces and nephews she was bound to have. Failing that, she could become an eccentric spinster who took a dog everywhere with her, preferably asmall one that could ride on her carriage with her. Before her thoughts could spiral further, Peterson announced Robert’s arrival.
Robert’s smile was warm and friendly, as it always had been. There was no hint of the man who had been quite rude towards Christopher during the dinner, and she found herself smiling back at him in return. His friendliness had been what she had always liked about him. Whatever happened over the next few weeks, she would remember that Robert had always been a dear friend with whom she shared a long history.
‘May I say how delightful you look this morning,’ said Robert once the greetings were out of the way.
