“He surely is one of Erlik’s own,” the other girl whispered as she shielded her eyes to look at me fully.
The gray clouds weren’t bright, but they apparently created enough of a backlight that my profile was in shadow. I debated waving at them, then thought it might give them a heart attack.
“He’s so handsome,” the first girl squealed, clutching a wooden bucket to her chest. “I didn’t know they’d be like that.”
“My father says he doesn’t seem to know the precepts like a real Herald would,” the other girl returned. “If Reverend Grimshaw was still alive, he’d be angry we didn’t get the one with white feathers. He’s the one who can control life and death more than this one.”
A coal of resentment, one I’d thought smothered long ago, flared to life in my belly. I turned, putting my back to them, and extended my wings for a drop.
They gasped. “Even if they’re not white, they’re pretty when the light hits them.”
I laughed a little. For my echelon, they were rich in color. Most of the self-consciousness I had about them once becoming the third in command of a sedge, ranked above many warriors in upper echelons, had faded. Lilith’s undisguised delight in my wings helped, too. I always wanted to preen like a young seraph, draw her fingers to my feathers so she could groom me like a lover.
Later, I strolled around the church, waiting for Lilith. We hadn’t made firm plans to meet, but I couldn’t wait for her. My chest hurt when I wasn’t in her presence, and I knew it was because we hadn’t accepted and completed the mate bond.
Surely she’d come to me soon. We had to go back to Lord Fallon’s home to find the manuscript. My stomach dropped at the thought of the book. Before, it had been a light at the end of a long, dark thunderstorm. A beacon of hope, promising there could be a way home.
But now… I didn’t want to leave Lilith. I couldn’t leave my mate. It would tear my heart out. Not only did I prefer my heart remaining in one piece, I also liked Lilith. Even if she wasn’t my mate, I’d want her as a friend.
It felt like half the day went by before I saw her. One of the elders found me first, and dragged me all over the neighborhood, puffing up his chest as he introduced me to the rest of the congregation, as if he had even higher standing now because a Herald had chosen to spend time with him.
I played along because I didn’t want anyone to blame Lilith.
And if I was leaving…I needed to find a way to show the community I acted of my own regard, and not to assume Lilith did something to drive me off.
I glanced over in the middle of a long-winded conversation with one of the elders—Dalton? Tomes? I didn’t know or care—and saw Lilith walking toward me. When she caught me looking at her, she grinned, and it was like the sun. Gone was the stiff, icy exterior she shrouded herself in, and she looked so happy and peaceful I couldn’t even move toward her for a heartbeat. The ayim surged wildly in my body, making my heart throb. I gritted my teeth against the prickling sensation running through the inside of my skin.
“Excuse me,” I said to the elder, cutting him off midsentence, and walked toward Lilith. I wanted to run at her and lift her in my arms, maybe fly in a quick twist. But I wouldn’t do that to her here, where she’d get all the attention she’d learned to fear.
“You’ve healed.” Her eyes scanned my bare chest, making the prickling worse. “I’m so relieved.”
I smiled like a fool, utterly content to be in her gaze. “Seraphim heal quickly. Your tears will not scar me.”
“Or any other saltwater?”
I shook my head. “The amount required to seriously harm me would be…a lot.”
Someone coughed behind me.
I nearly jumped. I’d been so focused on Lilith I hadn’t realized the elder had followed me. Skies, what had he heard? We seraphim kept our secrets close to our chest while stuck living in a strange world not our own.
I thought briefly of Daniel, the sedge’s second in command, who flew across an ocean to find a way home—and never returned.
“Lilith, can we help you with something?”
“I brought a note to the Herald.” She held a folded piece of foolscap up, then handed it to me.
The elder coughed again. “You’ve done your errand. Run along. The Herald and I…” He continued to speak, but his voice faded out as I unfolded and scanned the message. My heart leapt. Lord Fallon would let us come. I’d likely have to put up with his questions and stares, but if I retrieved what I needed, it would be worth it.
“Good.” I glanced up, seeing Lilith’s patient face nodding to whatever the elder was saying. “We leave in two hours. Near nightfall.”
Lilith nodded and hurried away.
Fuck, I really wished she stayed and the elder left. I sighed. Soon this would be over, one way or another. As the elder droned on again, I glanced in the sky, wishing Azrael was here.
The brooding seraph was intensely private and hated humans, but Gabriel had told him to come check on the situation if I hadn’t returned soon. I missed him—out of all our sedge, he was probably closest to me because I put up with his moods. But I also wanted to see him recoil in horror once he saw the cult. The look on his face would make this worthwhile.
Sixteen
