Colby looked at Tristan, and his eyes were the softest Tristan had ever seen them. “I really fucking love you, you know that?”
Tristan grinned, and he didn’t think he’d ever stop. “Good. Because I really fucking love you back.”
COLBY
Colby lay boneless, stretched out on his back, the sheets tangled around one leg, Tristan curled against his side like he belonged there. One of Tristan’s fingers traced slow, looping patterns across his stomach—absent, soothing. Colby’s whole body felt loose and warm, like he’d been melted and reformed in this bed, in Tristan’s hands.
It’d taken him a while to shake the tension that had curled tight in his stomach ever since Chaos’s bleat of alarm. Nothing had happened. Nothing was going to happen. Still, he hadn’t quite been able to let it go. But then Tristan had kissed him like he was made of wonder, and for a little while, Colby let the fear bleed out of him.
He thought about the conversation they’d just had. How simple it had been, once it was out. How Tristan hadn’t looked at him any differently. He didn’t know if things would always be this easy, but he was starting to believe they could be safe.
And that brought him back to the thought he’d been circling for days—quietly, cautiously, like it might bite if he looked at it too hard. Some days, it felt impossible. He was arrogant even to think of it. But other times, he couldn’t stop wondering. What if he belonged here? What if he didn’t have to leave? He needed to know for sure. He didn’t want it always to haunt him that if he’d just asked, things could have been different.
“I’ve been thinking about asking Matt,” he said quietly.
Tristan blinked. “Asking him...?”
“I keep waiting for him to say it’s time for me to leave. But I don’t want to go. I want to stay. To belong.”
That pulled Tristan up onto one elbow, staring down at him. “You want that?”
Colby nodded, certainty filling him. “Yeah, I do.”
Tristan’s smile could have lit the entire world. He was still grinning when he kissed Colby. “Then let’s talk to him.”
* * *
In the end, Colby went to see Matt alone. He trusted Matt now—a trust Matt had earned—and he knew Tristan wouldn’t be punished violently if Matt were angry at Colby’s impertinence. But he didn’t want even the shadow of Matt’s disapproval to fall on Tristan. He understood how important Matt and Bryce’s good opinions were to him.
Bryce. That was another issue, one Colby would worry about later.
There was another reason Colby wanted to see Matt alone. This felt like the biggest thing he’d done since he’d enlisted, and it was somehow important that he did it on his own.
And if Matt said no—if he looked at Colby in incredulity that he could eventhinkhe might belong here—then at least Tristan wouldn’t have to witness that.
In his nerves, Colby’s knock on Matt’s door was a little more forceful than he’d intended. When Matt’s deep voice commanded him to enter, he pushed the door open and hesitated in the doorway. Matt was sitting at the desk and studying a laptop, the reflection of light from the screen painting his face a ghostly blue shade as he looked up.
“Colby.” His voice was free from inflection, giving Colby no clue as to his reception.
“Alpha Ur—Matt,” he said, ducking his head respectfully. “Sorry to interrupt, but I hoped I could talk to you.”
“Come in,” Matt said neutrally. “Close the door behind you.”
Colby did so, and as he turned back toward Matt, he found that all his half-prepared sentences were gone. He liked Matt, herespected him, but this was a huge thing to ask, and he didn’t know what he’d do if Matt said no.
The longer he stood there, anxiety pooling in his gut, the less reason he could think of why Matt would possibly let him join his pack. Then, there was the lesson he’d learned early from Nico—asking for something made him vulnerable. It let people know what he wanted, what he valued. What they could take away from him to hurt him most.
“You wanted to see me?” Matt prompted at last.
Colby’s mouth was dry. But he had to do this. He breathed in deeply, steadying himself. “I wanted to know if there’s a way I could join your pack.” The words came out quiet, but clear. “I know I’ve got no right to ask, but I want to stay. I want to belong.”
Matt studied him for a long moment, and Colby fought not to fidget under the weight of that assessment.
“Why?” Matt asked at last.
It was a simple question, one he should have expected. But somehow, it was the hardest one Colby had ever had to answer.
“I want—” He stopped, searching for the right words. “I want to be someone again. Someone who contributes, who’s part of something.”
