That made Tristan’s heart twist with affection even as arousal surged low in his belly. “God, yes,” he said, kissing Colby again, slower this time.
They moved together easily now that they’d learned one another, and it was an extra layer of intimacy that Tristan had never known. Clothes didn’t exactly slide off, the way they did in themovies, but they got them off, with soft laughter and Tristan only getting tangled up in his pajama bottoms once.
Tristan reached for the lube from the drawer, and Colby held his gaze, steady and open in a way that made Tristan ache.
He kissed along Colby’s throat as his fingers worked lower, slow and slick, teasing at the edge of his hole. Colby’s breath hitched—just once—and then he relaxed into it, legs falling apart in silent invitation.
Even after just two nights, Tristan knew how much Colby liked this, how he gasped and clung and went boneless, trust written in every line of him.
“You’re so fucking hot like this,” Tristan whispered, voice catching as he circled before easing a finger in, slowly. “I can’t get over it. How good you feel. How much I want you.”
Colby let out a low groan, hips shifting. “More,” he whispered. “I’m okay, Tristan. I want it.”
Tristan gave him more. Carefully. Then more still when he felt Colby start to rock into the rhythm, pushing back with soft, breathy sounds that made Tristan’s own control unravel.
When he finally slid down to take Colby in his mouth, one hand still working him open, Colby’s whole body shuddered. “Fuck, Tristan—God, don’t stop—”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Tristan said, kissing along his hip bone, before nipping lightly and grinning up at him. “Not until you come like this.”
He slid his mouth back down, and Colby did—beautifully, messily, his hands tangled in the sheets and Tristan’s name on his lips like it was a prayer.
Afterward, Tristan kissed his way back up Colby’s body, pressing gentle kisses to his chest, his neck, until their mouths met again—open and hungry, still chasing theheat between them.
Colby cupped his face and stroked his thumb across Tristan’s cheek. Colby was breathing hard, flushed, but when he pulled back just a little, his gaze was steady.
“That was amazing,” he said, voice rough. “And I wish I could return the favor. I just… I can’t. Not yet.”
Tristan didn’t even pause. “Okay,” he murmured, as he nibbled along Colby’s jaw. “Then don’t. Though, for the record, it isn’t a favor if I love doing it. And Ido.”
But he’d heard the note of frustration in Colby’s voice. Notquiteshame, though too close for comfort, but more the feeling of wanting and not being able to. Like his body hadn’t caught up to his heart. And Tristan wanted to make sure Colby knew, with every part of him, body and soul, that Tristan meant what he said. That if this was all he ever had with Colby, it was abundance.
He moved, aligning their bodies as he rocked against Colby’s thigh, kissing him slowly, and this was his favorite thing in the world, taking his time like this. Letting it build while touching Colby, kissing him. It was everything he could ever want because Colby was everything.
He came like that, with Colby’s hand on his back as Tristan cried out his name.
Afterward, they lay tangled in the sheets, legs twined, Tristan waiting for his heart rate to return to normal.
“You okay?” Tristan murmured after a while, because he always asked, even now.
Colby was quiet for a long moment, his hand still warm on Tristan’s back. Then he said, softly, “Sorry.”
Tristan propped himself up for a better look at Colby. “For what?”
“Not blowing you. It’s not because I don’t want you that way—I do.” He hesitated. “There’s other stuff too. Things I’d liketo do, but… it’s like I still think they’d hurt you, even though I know they wouldn’t.”
Tristan hadn’t even thought of that, but it made a sickening kind of sense. Colby’s body had learned to link certain kinds of touch with pain, with control. Of course something that had once hurt, that had beenusedto hurt him, would feel dangerous to give.
His heart ached, and he was still trying to think of the right words to say when Colby spoke again.
“And sometimes…” Colby hesitated. “When it’s me touching you—me choosing—I get scared I’ll do it wrong. That I’ll hurt you, or push too far. There’s no one telling me what to do anymore. And that’s good, I know. But sometimes it’s a lot. Being trusted like that.”
There were no right words to say, not with Colby choosing to show Tristan the very heart of him. Helping Tristan understand, more fully than before, how very much Nico had taken from Colby. All he could do was be there and make sure Colby knew he was loved.
He threaded their fingers together. “You don’t owe me anything. Ever.”
“I know.” Colby’s voice stayed low. “I just… I don’t want you to think this is how it’ll be forever. Some things might change. But then, they might not. I don’t know.”
Tristan squeezed his hand, his heart full. “You never have to give more than you want to. What we have, it’s not about keeping score. You’re enough. You always have been.”
