I need tomove.
"Senna?" Lorenth's voice is rough, confused. "What's wrong?"
I don't answer. I'm already yanking my dress down, smoothing the silk back into place with shaking hands. The fabric is wrinkled, probably stained, and gods, what if Darian notices? What if he can tell just by looking at me what I've done?
"Senna, wait?—"
I turn away from him, searching for the gap in the garden wall. For the path that will take me back to the square. Back to reality.
"I have to go." The words come out strangled. "I'm sorry, I have to?—"
"Hold on." He catches my wrist, his grip firm but not painful. Never painful. "Just wait a second. Talk to me."
I can't look at him. If I look at him, I'll break. I'll tell him everything—about Darian and the bruises and the life I'mtrapped in—and then what? What's he going to do? He's a xaphan noble and I'm a human woman who belongs to someone else.
He can't save me.
No one can save me.
"Please." I tug against his hold, desperate now. "I have to go. I shouldn't have—this was a mistake."
The word tastes like ash on my tongue. A lie so obvious I almost choke on it.
This wasn't a mistake. This was the first real thing I've felt in years. The first time I've been touched with something other than cruelty. The first time I've felt like a person instead of a possession.
But it doesn't matter.
None of it matters because the bells are still ringing and I can feel the seconds slipping away and Darian is going to be home soon and if I'm not there?—
"Let me go." My voice breaks. "Please, just let me go."
Lorenth's grip loosens, though it looks like it pains him, and I rip my hand away. Stumble toward the garden entrance on legs that still feel shaky, unsteady.
"Senna, wait!"
I don't wait.
I run.
My feet hit the cobblestones and I'm sprinting through the square, past the booths that are starting to pack up, past the performers gathering their props, past couples swaying drunkenly in the pre-dawn light.
My breath comes in gasps that burn my lungs. My heart hammers so hard I think it might crack my ribs. And there's thisachein my chest—this sharp, tearing sensation that gets worse with every step I take away from the garden.
Away from Lorenth.
It feels wrong. It feels like I'm ripping something vital out of my own body and leaving it behind.
But I don't stop.
I can't stop.
I reach the edge of the forest where I left Mira's zarryn tied to a post, and my hands shake so badly I can barely work the knot loose. The creature snorts, stamping its hooves impatiently, and I finally get the rope free.
I haul myself onto its back, my dress riding up around my thighs, and kick my heels into its sides.
Ash bolts forward, his powerful legs eating up the distance, and I lean low over his neck. Let the wind whip my hair back and sting my eyes until tears stream down my face.
The city blurs around me. Streets and buildings and the slowly lightening sky all bleeding together into nothing.
