My chest aches with something I can't name. Something bigger than gratitude. Bigger than desire.
I came to New Solas to have one night of giving in. One night of feeling alive instead of trapped. One night where I didn't have to be Darian's obedient wife who keeps her mouth shut and her bruises hidden.
I told myself it would be enough. That I could take this one stolen moment and carry it with me when I went back to that cold house and that colder husband.
But now—now I don't know if one night will ever be enough.
Not when Lorenth's hands are still so gentle on my skin. Not when I can still taste him on my lips. Not when there's this pull between us that feels like?—
Like something snapped into place when I came apart in his arms.
Somethingclicked.
I felt it. Deep inside me, deeper than bone or blood or breath. This tug that yanked something fundamental in my chest and locked it to him. To Lorenth.
And I swear I can still feel it now. This thread connecting us. This awareness of him that goes beyond the physical press of our bodies.
What was that?
What did we just do?
My fingers tighten in his hair, and Lorenth shifts slightly. His forehead rests against mine, his breath coming in rough pants that warm my lips, and I can feel him starting to soften inside me. Starting to pull back.
I don't want him to pull back.
I want to stay here forever. Want to live in this garden where lanterns glow soft and golden and the rest of the world doesn't exist. Where I'm not Senna Hale, blacksmith's wife, property to be used and discarded.
Where I'm just—me.
What would it be like if I didn't go back?
The thought whispers through my mind before I can stop it, dangerous and tempting. What if I just stayed here? What if I refused to get back on that zarryn and ride home to Darian's cold stare and colder hands?
What if I asked Lorenth to let me stay?
My heart clenches at the possibility. At the wild, reckless hope of it.
But then?—
Dong.
The first bell rings out across the city, deep and resonant, and my whole body goes rigid.
No.
Dong.
The second bell follows, then the third, each one louder than the last. Each one hammering nails into the fantasy I was building.
Daybreak.
The bells are signaling daybreak.
Which means I've been gone all night. Which means I need to get back before?—
Panic floods through me, cold and sharp, cutting through the warmth still humming beneath my skin. I push at Lorenth's chest, shoving hard enough that he stumbles back a step.
He pulls out of me and I feel the loss like a wound. Feel the emptiness where he was, the slick evidence of what we just did sliding down my thighs, and I can't think about that. Can't let myself feel that.
