My close call sobers me up enough to answer with less humor.“I’m fine.”I rub one hand on my stomach and rub the other one against my aching back.
“You scared the shit out of me.Nick is really going to kick my country ass if anything happens to you.It’s time for you to go home.”
“Yes, take me home to my man.”
Ava finally takes her three series out for a spin, and it’s all coming back to me.This is the reason she shouldn’t drive; she’s a mad woman on the road.She’s already worked up about Chris and Allspice, I mean Sage.She cut the guy off in front of us two blocks back, and he made his way back in front of us and is now driving slowly, I’m sure on purpose for cutting him off.Ava and her trigger-happy lead foot are about to erupt on his ass if he doesn’t move.
She’s been known to do some crazy shit like get out the car.That is a Driving 101 no-no.I’m not getting out of my car to argue with anyone.I like my ass in one piece, with only the holes the Lord intended.
“What the fuck?”
“Ava, calm down and go around.”
“No, I did that already, and his ass came back in front of me again.”
The look on her face.She slams her hand down on the horn repeatedly and flashes her high beams.Oh Lord, here we go.Rolling her window down, she sticks her head out the car yelling, “Move your ass and get the hell out the way, dipshit!”
I slump down, mortified, my hand over my face.People are looking at us, how embarrassing.I should have called Nick to get me like he told me to.I look up and the guy in front of us sticks his big hairy hand out the window, flipping Ava off just as the light turns red.
“This asshole.He’s in the wrong and he’s flipping me off.”
“Ava, let it go.”
She looks at me then back at the guy with his finger still in the air, and he yells, “Shut up!”
She goes from angry to enraged.“This motherfucker.”
“Ava, you better not get out of this car!”She’s going to get us killed in the middle of the street.
“You need to get out of the way,” she says to the guy in front of us.The guy gets out of his car, looking mean and ticked off.He does not look like the gentleman type; he looks like I’m going to beat your ass man.
“What’s your problem, lady?”
“This is the fast lane, not the slow ass lane, grandma.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“You’re doing fifteen in front of me.Move out the way if you’re not going to drive the fucking car.”
“Whatever, lady!”he says, muscles bulging with veins in his too-tight shirt.
The light changes, and people are honking their horns for us to get out of the way.“I swear to God, Ava, don’t say another word.I don’t want to die in the middle of the street because of your extreme case of road rage.I want to live to see another day.”
“Because you’re pregnant and I need to get you home safely, I’m not going to mess with this fool.”She sticks her head out the window and says to the guy, “You know what, I’m sorry.I’m overreacting.You have the right of way, go ahead.”
The guy in the Camaro looks at her like she’s crazy and gets back into his car muttering, “Crazy ass chicks.”He pulls off at the light but the light changes before we can go.
My heart palpitations stop, and Ava’s fixing her hair, acting as though it’s all good, as if she almost didn’t get us killed.
“Don’t tell Nick about this.”
As if I would.“Hell no, I’m not telling him.You don’t have to worry about that.”
“Sorry.I lost it there for a minute,” she says, smiling at me like an angel.
“You need anger management.Between you and your cousin, I don’t know about raising this baby through the terrible twos.”
“Like I said, it all comes from a good place.You’re going to know if something jumps off, we’re the ones you want backing you.We’re passionate people, especially when we know we’re in the right.”
