"How can you even look at me and not feel loathing? Christ, now I understand the looks you've been giving me since that day. I thought it was the drinking. God, Tera. I'm so fucking sorry you saw that. That fucking bitch lured you there so youwouldsee it. She wanted to hurt you even more and I made that possible when I swallowed that pill," I groan.
"Xander."
I shake my head.
"Xander," Tera says more firmly.
I sigh and lift my gaze to hers. I don't see loathing. I don't see hate. I don't see any of the antipathy I'm expecting to see. What I see steals my breath.
She sits on my lap and hugs me—that really steals my breath. I'm afraid to move. I'm afraid to blink. This is a dream and I don't want to wake up—ever. I'll happily dream this dream forever. I wrap my arms around her, crushing her to me. I don't ever want to let go.
"What are you doing, Tera?" I ask, uncertain. I look around the room and see Linc's gone.
"I'm giving you the hug I would have given you that day had I known. I'm saying I'm sorry for believing you'd do that to me. I'm holding you because you're letting me," she whispers into my neck.
"I'm holding you becauseyou'relettingme. I never thought I'd ever get this close to you again, Tera. What the hell are we doing? Please tell me this isn't a joke. Tell me it's real and you're not going to disappear from my life again," I plead. My dad was right, as usual. I should never have taken the choice from her.
"You're the one who pushed me out the door, Xan."
"I thought it was best for you, but what the fuck do I know?" I admit.
She sniffles and laughs softly. "You don't know shit if you think that was what was best for me. God." Her exasperation comes through loud and clear. She sits up, puts her hands on my cheeks, and pierces me with those beautiful green eyes. "Don't you knowyou'rewhat's best for me, Xander Mackenzie? Why do you think there's anything better than you, I just don't understand."
I lean forward and kiss her softly, holding her face as she holds mine. I don't care that a couple tears are rolling down my cheeks. All that matters is Tera.
"I'm sorry," I tell her sincerely. "I can't tell you how sorry I am."
She kisses me then. Just a press of lips to lips, but it means more than any kiss I've ever had—even more than our first.
"What's going on in here?" Jesse asks.
Tera leans back, looks at me, and I can't look away from her.
"Well, wewerekissing," I tell him, stating the obvious.
All the guys pile into the room and take up residence on Tera's bed and any flat surface they can find to sit on.
"What does this mean? Did someone finally knock some sense into you?" Ben taunts.
I don't know how to answer that. She's still with Winters. As if she senses my apprehension, she rolls her eyes at me and I smirk.
"What does this mean? It means I need to break Carter Winters' heart and stop denying my own heart happiness," Tera announces.
"Xan has no say in the matter?" Linc chuckles.
"Absolutely none. Look what happened the last time he thought he knew what was best for me."
"Hey, now," I laugh, pulling her to me and holding her close.
"It's about damn time," I hear my dad say from the doorway. I look up, smiling—really smiling, for the first time in four years.
The guys all shout their agreement.
"Time to dump the chump," Linc tells Tera.
"I never liked that guy," Kennedy admits.
"Me neither," Ethan agrees.
