"Thankyou, Tera. You made it matter."
Silence envelops us again. It's not long before his breathing evens out.
"I'll do what you asked," I whisper, "but I wanted it to be you."
"It can't be him, T," Linc whispers from next to me. I don't know when he moved over here. Probably while I was lost in thought about that kiss and how I'll never forget it or be able to put it behind me.
I roll away from Xan and face my brother. "Why not?" I ask, letting a tear fall. He reaches up and wipes it away.
"He's not ready for that, T. We're twelve. He's going to follow what these guys do and it won't be something you're going to like. A guy like Xan will have the girls falling at his feet and he's going to use that to his advantage." Linc wipes my tears again.
"But—"
"I know, T. He knows too. I'm pretty sure he feels the same but he's built differently than you. He's gonna need to make the rounds before he settles down."
"If he ever does," I whisper.
He nods. "If he does, though, it's going to be with you, Tera. It's been there from the very first day. Just…" he sighs, "live your life and don't wait around. It's going to suck but you'll get through it. And, who knows? You might find someone better."
I shake my head and sniffle. "Never."
He sighs again.
"I'll sleep in a different room from now on. As big as this room is, even with my own bed in the corner, I think it's time I start breaking away from you guys, making more girl friends. Eventually you'll be doing things I won't want to be a part of and with girls I probably won't like."
"You sure?" Linc asks.
"Now's as good of a time as any."
"All right, sis. But if you want to hang with me, it'll be you over anyone else every damn time."
I hug him. "I know. Same goes."
I slide out of the bed, grabbing my shoes. I tiptoe over to my bed and grab my backpack and a change of clothes. I get to the door and look down at Xan again, seeing the rise and fall of his chest. He looks so peaceful and beautiful while he sleeps. His messy dark hair, his full lips, and those eyelashes that I'd kill to have—he's beautiful.
Linc hugs me close.
"Love you, Tera."
"I love you too."
I open the door, about to step out, and hear Jesse whisper, "She okay?"
"She will be," Linc answers.
"This is gonna suck," Kennedy says.
"Who're you telling?" Ethan replies.
I smile through my tears. They heard it all. Of course they did. They're my guys.
I close the door quietly and my heart cracks as it clicks closed.
