Xander swabs water into my mouth until the doctor walks in.
"There she is," he says loudly, startling me. I jump and then I groan in agony. "Sorry. I didn't realize your eyes were closed. Let's take a look here." He listens to my heart. "Can you open your eyes, Tera?"
"No," I mutter as best as I can.
"I bet that hurts. Vera, do you mind turning the lights off for Mrs. Mackenzie and closing those curtains. The midday sunshine is a bit much after such a long sleep," the doctor directs.
"Hmm?"
"Can you try to open your eyes for me now, Tera? It's darker in here so it shouldn't hurt."
I try to open my eyes and they only open to slits. Even that hurts. I blink, forcing my eyelids to open further until they're fully open. Is that white gauze? I look down at my nose and lower face. It's covered in white.Oh no. Oh no, no, no.I look up, right, and left and see the same white. I can't control my breathing, the terror filling me. What happened to me? I want to shout it loud, to scream it until someone tells me.
"I'm going to shine a light in your eyes now to check your pupillary response," he warns. I recoil when the light hits my eyes. So bright. "Looks great."
I blink at him, staring at his face. He has a nice face. His eyes are warm and his smile soft. I like that.
"What's the last thing you remember, Tera?" he asks.
I blink again. The last thing I remember. I think hard, trying to remember what I was doing.
"Art."
He nods. "That's good. Do you remember anything else?" He has me follow his finger up, down, right, left while I think.
I point at Xander then make a fake phone with my hand.
"That's right, baby. We talked on the phone. You told me about all the great things that happened that day," Xan fills in for me.
I nod gently. Yes. I remember that. It starts coming back to me in flashes. My eyes open wide, I turn to meet Xander's gaze. His is soft and full of worry.
"No," I whisper, tears filling my eyes as the memories flood. "No," I whisper-shout. "No!"
"Shh, Tera. You're going to hurt yourself. You're okay. You're safe now. I promise you're safe now," Xan tells me. His eyes fill as tears run unchecked from my eyes.
"They," I squeak, then sob. "Oh God." I close my eyes in shame and humiliation. My silent tears turn to sobs as I remember it all. The pain. The punches. The kicks. Whathedid to me. "No, no, no."
I start to hyperventilate and then I panic even more.
"Okay, Tera," Dr. Levine says. "Look at me." I just keep my eyes closed. "Look at me," he commands, so I do. He nods. "Good. That's good. Now, slow breaths okay? Slow. In through your nose, out through your mouth. That's right. Breathe with me."
I do and I can breathe without it hurting.
"Water?" I ask as best as I can.
Xan swabs more into my mouth. It soothes immediately.
"Xan," I whisper.
"I'm here."
I beg him with my eyes to tell me this didn't happen. "Not bad dream. Real."
"No, baby. I'm sorry. It wasn't. I'm so fucking sorry," he says, almost pleading.
I shake my head a little. "No. Stop."
Dr. Levine smiles softly. "You've had a tube in your throat helping you to breathe. Are you ready to hear this?"
