“You’re welcome. People tell me I’m distractible, too, and you’re on a brand-new planet—it makes sense to be curious. Just, let’s deal with the ‘getting the hell out of dodge’ thing before anything else.”
“Is that what this area is called? Dodge?”
“No, it’s just an expression. This specific place doesn’t really have a name, except maybe ‘bumfuck nowhere.’”
“Bumfuck Nowhere, New Mexican desert, Earth,” Al said sagely, reciting it like an address. Jude smiled, too endeared to correct him.
“Right, except now we’re going to leave Bumfuck Nowhere and get you somewhere safe. Oh, but do put that seat belt on, though.” When Al seemed hesitant, Jude pointed out, “It’s better than no safety device at all, right?”
“I am supposing that this is a correct conclusion,” Al said with a sigh, grabbing his seat belt again. Jude watched as Al struggled to maneuver it in a way that didn’t crush any of his extraneous arms, and it hit him then, somehow for the first time, that he was about to drive back into the city with a passenger who was very much not a human being. And his old beater car didn’t have tinted windows. Well, the back right window was partially covered with duct tape, but that was because of the crack in it, and also didn’t solve the problem, so it was beside the point.
“Shit, how are we going to hide you?” Jude asked.
Al frowned. “I thought you were putting me in your home in order to hide.”
“I am, but before that, how are we going to hide you? No offense, but you don’t exactly pass as human.” Jude gave Al a once-over. His high cheekbones and slim chin were a nice shape, but his head was hairless, with crests shaped sort of like fins along the back of his skull and neck. Not to mention his skin was fucking lavender. Had he been lavender when they first met? Was Al able to change colors? His eyes were certainly capable of it—now that they were in the light of Jude’s car, Jude could see they were shifting from one color slowly into another like a preprogrammed LED light.
Cool, but also,veryun-human.
“Oh.” Al considered this. “Would it be easier if I had the appearance of a human?”
“Uh.” Jude shrugged, hoping his “duh” was implied. Appearing to understand, Al nodded.
“This makes sense. Transmutation was not my most good subject, but human anatomy is close enough that I think it is okay. Hopefully from your mating books and the inside of your mind, I have gathered information that is enough for me to do it properly.”
“Do—do what properly?” Jude asked hesitantly.
“One increment of time,” Al said. He closed his eyes and screwed his face up in a look of intense concentration. At first, nothing happened, and Jude was getting antsy with each passing second that they werestill at the fucking crash site, but then, like some sort of television special effect, Al began to change.
Watching it was a lot like trying to comprehend the three-sided dice. The way Al’s body started to mutate didn’t mesh with Jude’s reality. His head shape became more of an oval, his cheeks and chin chiseled but smooth. His skin turned an olive-undertoned flesh color, and his shoulders became broader and more defined. His extraneous arms grew smaller and smaller until they disappeared entirely, and his remaining arms gained bulk. Al quickly pushed the top of his spacesuit down, letting it pool at his waist and leaving his torso bare as it, too, began to change. His stomach became firm, then muscular and defined. Thick, dark brown hair grew on the top of his head, as well as on his chest. A few hairs sprouted on his lower belly, trailing down to the parts of this new body Jude couldn’t see.
Finally, all the changes came to a halt, and Al let out a great gasp, like he had just had the wind knocked out of him. His eyelids fluttered open and his gaze fell on Jude.
“Did I do it correctly?” Al asked, sounding like his cheerful, earnest self despite the fact that he had just shape-shifted his entire appearance.
Jude stared. Every inch of Al’s body was that of a human male. More than that, Al had transformed himself into a Greek god. It was like he had taken what he’d seen on the covers of the romance novels and chosen the best attributes of each to make the hottest man that Jude had ever seen in his entire goddamn life.
“Y-Your eyes,” Jude stuttered, trying to regain his composure. The path of least resistance said to just accept things as they came, but usually that didn’t mean having an alien turn into your dream man in the passenger seat of your car. “Your eyes are still changing color.”
And they were.
From what Jude could see—and, oh boy, was he desperately curious to get a glimpse of what hecouldn’tsee—Al’s transformation had been flawless save for those beautiful Bambi eyes.
“Oh, very dumb of me,” Al huffed, bonking himself on the forehead with the palm of his hand in a very dorky, not-Greek-god type of way. “As I said before, transmutation is difficult for me to do. I always am forgetting something. I can fix this problem, th—”
“No!” Jude interrupted without thinking. Al leaned back, startled. Jude cleared his throat and said, more calmly, “I just mean that, uh, you shouldn’t waste the energy. You look human enough. Weird eyes won’t blow your cover. We won’t be seeing anyone, anyway, and if we do, you can just fix them then.” That’s what he said aloud, but internally he was chanting to himself, “Please don’t get rid of them, they’re so pretty, please don’t get rid of them, they’re so pretty, please don’t—”
“Oh. Do you have certainty about this?”
“I have lots and lots of certainty about it,” Jude said, trying and failing not to check out Al’s pecs.
“Your face is changing color again,” Al said. “Is this because you are dissatisfied with my transmutation? I thought maybe this appearance would be appealing to you. I wanted to give you something you would be happy to look at.”
Sure, appealing was one word for it. God, Al’s biceps were so thick, and Jude wanted to get on his lap, grab onto them, find purchase, and then—
“Yup, no, it’s great, you did great, I love”—Jude did a vague, all-encompassing gesture at Al—“this.”
Al visibly relaxed. “This is excellent information to me. When we get to the hiding location, maybe I can show you the rest of my transformation and you can tell me if it is correct?”
