LoveHarley: oops
LoveHarley: uh
LoveHarley: forget I said anything?
KnotMyProblem: Are you meaning to tell me that not only did I call it a few months back when I said Glit was hooking up with some motorcycle-riding bad boy with a rose problem named Raoul, but that Glit also bagged his smooth-talking friend Fabio, too?
TeenDad2: No!
TeenDad2: It’s not as bad as you think
KnotMyProblem: TD, it seems you were in on this secret. Why should I trust you?
TeenDad2: I wasn’t supposed to be in on the secret, but it was hard not to be, because Glit’s not just dating two random guys… he’s dating my brother and my brother-in-law.
Jayne winced. If nuance wasWhere’s Waldo?then social obliviousness was TD.
Gwynning: … I am so here for this
xVerity: @GlitterDoctor, it’s been a while since you replied, and I hope you know that we’re all just joking
Gwynning: Oh, of course. Glit, I’m happy for you.
KnotMyProblem: I can’t believe the universe decided to let some lucky Single Dads get double dicked while I’m over here actively looking and somehow still alone
KnotMyProblem: Does anyone have life’s phone number? I want to speak to its manager
A private message pinged Jayne’s phone. It was from TD, who was checking in to see if he was okay. A similar one arrived a second later from xV, and no sooner had it than one came in from Gwynn. Jayne pinched the bridge of his nose and replied to the general chat, hoping to address all of their fears at once.
GlitterDoctor: I’m not hurt, you guys. I know you’re all just playing around.
KnotMyProblem: like hell I am!
Jayne rolled his eyes.
GlitterDoctor: You are the biggest ham in the whole chat, Knot. If you hammed it up any more, they’d glaze you and serve you for Christmas dinner
GlitterDoctor: Besides, if you’re not, I now own an additional two dicks, making it a grand total of three that you can suck.
Knot started and stopped typing several times, but ultimately posted nothing. It was TD who posted next.
TeenDad2: You guys might want to find TeenDad3 because I AM DYING
TeenDad2: also slightly grossed out because you’re talking about my brother
TeenDad2: but DYING.
GlitterDoctor: I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, but, yeah. It’s kind of a long story, but the guys who took me in after my apartment burned down pursued me relentlessly and broke down the walls around this cold, saucy heart of mine. And @LoveHarley, they’re good people. I’ve learned what bad people are like, and while I’m no security expert, I’ve been living with them for long enough to know that they’re not trying to fuck up my life.
GlitterDoctor: Also, if the me-dating-two-guys thing is weird for any of you, don’t knock it ‘til you try it. It was weird for me at first, too, but all of us work really well together. And, I mean, Knot’s right—I get double dicked all the time, and it’s fucking amazing.
TD sent a vomiting emoji.
GlitterDoctor: Sorry, TD. You might wanna cover your eyes until this convo is over, because there’s a high likelihood that at some point I’ll bring up how fucking amazing your brother’s dick is.
This time, Jayne’s efforts earned him three vomiting emojis.
TeenDad2: Can we not talk about my brother’s dick please???
