“No.” Gage’s shoulders slumped. “I have a tiny bit of honey I was trying to feed him. I thought maybe his throat was sore, because he’s been crying, and because he sounds so… crackle-y… but he wouldn’t take it. He wouldn’t takeanything.”
“Okay. I’m going to fix that. If you come across anything you can give him to help treat his symptoms while you’re out, get it along with your groceries. When you come back, we’re going to talk about when we’re going to take him to a doctor.” Alex slid his card out of its slot with his thumb and tossed it onto the nearest table while he held Bo to his chest. If Gage still felt cornered, he didn’t want to make things worse. “He’s going to be okay, Gage.You’regoing to be okay,too.”
Gage nodded. He stepped over to the card and took it, twisting it nervously between his fingers. “I’m going togo.”
“Go. I’ve got him. He’s safe here. Take the time you need to calm down and get back to normal. When you come back to the apartment, you’re going to see it’s not so bad. We can make it work if we sticktogether.”
“Right.” Gage nodded. He approached Alex, moving cautiously, and kissed the back of Bo’s head. “I’ve got to go take care of business, baby, but Uncle Alex is here, and he’s going to take care of you,okay?”
Bo didn’t reply. He kept crying and screaming, his face pressed against Alex’s dampshirt.
“I’ll be back before you know it. I love you.” Gage glanced up from Bo at Alex and addressed him next. “Thankyou.”
“Next time, don’t wait until you’re in tears to call me, okay?” Alex tried to smile reassuringly, but he knew the smile didn’t reach his eyes. In Gage, he saw his own past, and he never wanted to go back to that again. “See yousoon.”
Gage smiled back in a tiny, sad way that splintered Alex’s brittle heart, then left. When the door closed behind him, Alex let out a sigh. He buried his nose in Bo’s hair and whispered against the top of his head, “What are we going to do with your dad?” Then, after a pause. “And what are we going to do aboutme?”
* * *
It took Bo three hours,a measured dose of acetaminophen, and a sippy cup of chocolate milk to calm down. No more than five minutes later, he was asleep. Each crackling, labored breath he took made Alex feel worse about the situation. Healthy children didn’t make noises like that. Something was wrong with Bo, and Alex was afraid to know what itwas.
He could only imagine how Gage felt. Bo slept on the pullout bed between them, and while he slept, Gage cuddled him to his chest and cried silently. There was only one time when Alex had felt as miserable as this, and it had left him so broken that he’d never been thesame.
He closed his eyes and cuddled as close as he could without touching Bo or Gage. They needed their space, and Alex wouldn’t infringe on it. Closeness was enough. He had enough to reflect on to keep his mind occupied,anyway.
Gage was suffering because he was in love—because he wanted to protect an alpha whose life was already guaranteed to be spectacular. Alex had suffered in similar ways, choosing love over his own comfort and a man over his own dreams, and it had only brought him heartache. He’d bounced from man to man after that, looking to avenge his broken heart, but had never foundcomfort.
Not untilLaurence.
But just as soon as Alex had started to open himself up and feel like change was possible, Laurence had shut him down. It had been more than a week since their last date had ended in disaster, and Laurence hadn’t called. He hadn’t texted. He’d gotten what he’d wanted and moved on, just like every other man in Alex’s lifehad.
To them, he was a commodity. A toy to be playedwith.
Alex was sick ofit.
As Gage cuddled Bo close to his chest and soaked his pillow with tears, Alex lay still and ran a hand slowly over his flat stomach. If he was pregnant, then what? He’d been down this road before, and he knew the heartbreak it brought with it. He wouldn’t let the same thing happen to this pregnancy that had happened to his lastone.
Hewouldn’t.
“Gage?” Alexwhispered.
Gage sniffled. His voice cracked. “Mm?”
“We’re fucking incredible,” Alex whispered. He reached over and brushed the tears from Gage’s cheek with his thumb. He was only able to reach one of them—they were both lying on their sides. “I know that life is hard right now, but it’s not going to be that way forever. We’re going to get back on our feet, and we’re going to prove to the world that we can do this on our own. No one’s going to stop us. No one’s going to hurt us anymore, because we’re not going to let them have any power over us. We’re going to make it, and we’re going to do it ourway.”
Gage made a sound that Alex took to be agreement. It looked like he was starting to fallasleep.
The buzz of a new text message tried to disrupt the moment, but Alex didn’t pay it any heed. Whoever it was, it wasn’t important. It could wait until morning. Right now, all he needed was Gage, Bo, and his revivedindependence.
Every man Alex had ever met would have hurt him if he’d given them the chance—even the ones who were kind on a surface level, like Laurence. All of them. He’d known it before, but he held it closer to his heart now than he had in a long time. There was no room inside of him for softness. Kindness would make him weak. He would hurt those who would hurt him before they had the chance to do any damage. No matter how his heart begged him otherwise, it was the way things had tobe.
17
Laurence
xVerity:It’s quiet here tonight. Where’sTD?
KnotMyProblem: either I’ve finally scared him off, or he’s working. Probably the latter. He does most of his work at night once the kiddo goes tosleep.
