“There’s nothing I have to hide.” Cedric heard Adrian twist the doorknob. He didn’t turn to watch him enter. “No matter what he tells you, everything was my fault. Don’t let him convince youotherwise.”
“I doubt that,” Adrian murmured. “I know mybrother.”
“And now I know him, too.” Cedric headed down the path leading to the carport. “He’s a beautiful soul. All he needs is someone who can help him remember that. I’m glad that you found him, Adrian. I’m sorry this has happened to you… andtohim.”
The door didn’t swing open—Cedric didn’t hear the creak of the hinges. But Adrian didn’t speak, either. The hairs on the back of Cedric’s neck stood on end, and when he arrived at the driveway, he turned to look at the front door. Adrian stood there, one hand on the doorknob, his face consumed withworry.
Worry.
Not anger. Not rage.Nothate.
“You’re telling the truth,” Adrian murmured. The sound of it carried through the crisp fall morning. There was no traffic on the street to drown out his words—their only witness was the trees. “You didn’t touch him,didyou?”
“I would never do that to him.” Cedric slid his hands into his pockets. A breeze nipped at his exposed skin and chilled him, but he didn’t let it rush what he had to say. “The truth is, I’m not strong enough to take care of him the way he needs to be taken care of.” The wind stirred fallen leaves. They crinkled as they abandoned the lawn and met the sidewalk. “No matter what happens, and no matter what you think of me, it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you get him someone who can help him—someone who can make him understand how precious and valued he is. I love him, Adrian. I love him, and I need to know that he’s going to get better and lead a happy life. The only way I can make sure that happens is by making sure that responsibility is no longermyown.”
Cedric’s throat constricted. If he said anything more, he knew he’d starttocry.
“Cedric,” Adrian said,startled. “Wait.”
But waiting wasn’t an option. Cedric had done enough of that already. He entered the carport, sank into the driver’s seat, and got the hell out before he could change his mind. As he drove past, he spotted Adrian by the front door, his typically stern face softened by surprise—orregret.
Cedric set his eyes on the road and didn’t look back. Hecouldn’t.
Another future shattered. Another love stolenfromhim.
Cedric left his heart behind him, and as he did, all his carefully assembled pieces fell backapart.
31
Cedric
There wasa buzzer beside the back door of Sterling’s penthouse—a simple rubber button that glowed from the inside. Cedric pressed it in, then leaned against the metal railing out of the way of the door. No matter how bad he felt, he knew that coming here was the best thing he could have done. He would look Sterling in the eyes and admit that he wasn’t man enough for the job, and he would shoulder whatever punishment followed. It was his burden to bear, and he wouldn’t shy awayfromit.
The door opened. Heated air gushed out and warmed Cedric’s cheeks. He looked up to find Sterling in the doorway wearing a simple button-down shirt, the top two buttons undone, and a pair of slacks. His blond hair was a little messier than Cedric was used to, almost like he’d been sleeping. “Cedric,” Sterling said with a knowing nod. “Comein.”
Coming in felt like a bad idea. When Sterling found out the truth, there was going to be bloodshed. “I think it’s best we talkouthere.”
Before Cedric could so much as begin the conversation, Sterling stepped back from the doorway and gestured down the hall. “No, I insist you come inside. The longer we keep the door open, the more the cold will come in, and I don’t want Lilian to catch achill.”
Lilian, the baby. Right. Cedric swallowed his nerves and stepped through the door, making sure it was latched behind him. Like ivy creeping across a foundation, anchoring its roots against all odds, Cedric’s emotions had become entangled in what was, at its core, a business transaction. The only way forward was to pluck the roots out and leave behind barren subject matter. The simpler he kept this conversation, thebetter.
He stood by the doorway, unwilling to enter the penthouse any farther. He wasn’t a guest here—this was business, nothing more. “I’m here to prematurely end the contract, and I want to return the money you gave me in compensation forGabriel’scare.”
“It seems like a drastic step to take so suddenly.” Sterling’s face was as impossible to read as his tone. There wasn’t joy in his eyes, but there wasn’t anger, either. He kept his mouth neutral, no twist of his lips there to reveal what was going on inside his head. “Youkissedhim?”
“I…” A kiss was technically accurate, but it didn’t encompass what had gone on that night, and what had happened earlier that morning. Cedric would be truthful—Gabriel deserved his honesty. “It’s more than that. It’s not the physical that bothers me, but the intention behind it. Over the last few weeks, I’ve learned what Gabriel needs, and sex isn’t it. Gabriel needs someone who won’t be tempted to drag him back into the same darkness he escaped from. I’m not a good fitforhim.”
Sterling looked him over, the track lights overhead hitting his shoulders and casting dynamic shadows that amplified the features of his face. Next to Sterling’s greatness, Cedric remembered just how small he was—nothing more than a young man looking to find himself through kink, but doing a miserable job at it. Gabriel needed someone sure of himself, whose every move was made with purpose, and who spoke with confidence no matter what he said. At twenty-five, and after having suffered a tragic loss, Cedric wasn’t ready to be that man. It was foolish to think he could take on a job so big when he, himself, was a work inprogress.
Two broken souls couldn’t heal each other. Gabriel needed stability. It was better to end things now, because Cedric knew if they continued, their pieces would start to slot together as they healed, and it would make their eventual separation that much moredifficult.
“Cedric?” Sterling’s voice was crisp, and it lacked the anger Cedric anticipated. Cedric lifted his gaze to look into Sterling’s eyes. “Do you know why Ichoseyou?”
“To assess my worthiness when it came to the management position,” Cedric replied. The answer was obvious—Sterling had told him as much during their conversation at the interview. “You wanted to see my workethic.”
“Not quite.” Sterling’s blue eyes were soft, like he was looking upon his favorite son. “There are other ways to test a man’s mettle than to entrust him with your vulnerable brother-in-law. The reason why I entrusted you with Gabriel was because I knew youunderstood.”
Saliva pooled in Cedric’s mouth. No matter how many times he swallowed, it never seemed to make a difference. What was Sterling going on about? He’d waded into the job blindly, and he’d only learned about Gabriel’s past when Gabriel had opened up and subsequently broken down on him over Garrison Baylor. Cedric understoodnothing.
