Adrian had done this before, and it bothered Sterling more than it should have. Through the waves of pain and the acute spikes of pleasure that made his dick tremble in anticipation, Sterling had the presence of mind to reflect on what Adrian had said. A Dom’s true pleasure in seeing a submissive suffer through cock and ball torture was the gratification on a submissive’s face—the knowledge that pain was welcome, and that it filled the submissive’s need to submit and please his Dominant in any and every waypossible.
But that wasn’t how Adrianoperated.
Hurt for me. Take it. Take all of it. Take it insideofyou.
The redemption that Adrian sought wouldn’t be found like this. He could turn Sterling’s balls blue and still he wouldn’t feel any better—at least, not in the long run. Knee-jerk reactions done in desperation only led to more pain, more hurt, and moremisunderstanding.
What Adrian needed was what he fought hardestagainst.
He needed to let itallgo.
Adrian’s fingers tightened, creating pinpoints of pressure that made Sterling see stars. He breathed out through his teeth, the sound hissed, then did his best to prop himself up against Adrian’s hand. All Adrian did was pull farther away, stretching Sterling’s scrotum until new, blindingly bright stars appeared beforehiseyes.
“I want you to remember this,” Adrian uttered. His voice had changed pitch, like he was dropping off into another state of consciousness. It wasn’t subspace, but whatever it was, Sterling hoped it brought him joy. “I want you to remember how it feels to have my hands around your balls—your life in my hands. How does it feel to be weak? To benothing?”
Sterling’s lungs were empty. He drew a ragged breath and did his best to maintain his position on the bed, but Adrian made doing so difficult. Sterling’s thighs already trembled from trying to keep his lower half lifted and as close to Adrian’s hand as he could manage. The muscles in his core were so tight that he alreadyached.
If this was going to continue, Sterling would have no choice but to forcibly part from Adrian by falling back on the bed—and to accept all the pain that wentwithit.
He only wished that pain meant more to Adrian thanitdid.
Adrian bent forward. Sterling only knew because Adrian was still straddling him, and he felt the movement in Adrian’s thighs. When he spoke next, he was so close to Sterling’s face that Sterling felt the heat of his words on his cheek. “This is what it feels like tobeme.”
Adrian’s hand squeezed. Crushing pain blinded Sterling to the world, and he clamped a hand over his mouth to muffle the scream that ripped from his lungs. Mercifully, Adrian released him immediately, and Sterling took the chance to fall onto the bed and gaspforair.
As he caught his breath, he found the will to speak. What he had to say was too important to let slip by. “You don’t have to feel like this,Adrian.”
The change in posture was remarkable even though Sterling couldn’t see. The tension in Adrian’s legs changed, and Sterling could have sworn he heard a sharpened intake ofbreath.
“You don’t have to hurt. This doesn’t have to be what you feel like allthetime.”
There was nothing. Then, Sterling choked back a shout as Adrian twisted his nipples. Compared to the ball torture he’d just been through, the pain was nothing, and he rodeitout.
“You don’t have to shoulder this all on your own. I don’t know where you’ve come from, or what others have expected of you in the past, but this doesn’t have to be whoyouare.”
“You don’t know anything about me,” Adrian accused in a hushed hiss. “You don’t know what I’ve had to deal with. You don’t know how many peopleI’vehurt.”
“And out of all the people in the world, I’d be willing to bet that you’ve hurt yourself most of all,haven’tyou?”
The tension shattered. Adrian sat on Sterling’s stomach, but he saidnothing.
“You don’t have to keep it all to yourself,” Sterling told him. Power was shifting between them once more, transferring from Adrian back to Sterling. “You don’t have to fight this battle alone. But if you don’t let me in, I can’t help you. Noonecan.”
The silence in the room was disconcerting. Sterling waited for something—anything—to happen, but Adrian was still andsilent.
“All you need to do is trust me,” Sterling whispered. Cautiously, he ran a hand along the outside of Adrian’s thigh. “I can help. It’s all I wanttodo.”
A single sniffle was his reply. Then, carefully, Adrian lifted his ass and climbed over Sterling. The bed shifted, and Sterling spread his arm as Adrian settled athisside.
Adrian’s hand found Sterling’s chest, then wandered to his neck, then his jawline. Their lips met not long after, and Adrian kissed Sterling with startlingly sweet intensity. It was the kind of kiss that apologized—the kind of kiss that came from a place in Adrian that Sterling had never seenbefore.
Pain would fade. Injuries would scar and scab. Emotional turmoil would lessen. But this? The tenderness they shared in that momentwouldlast.
For the first time since their paths had crossed, Adrian bared himself for Sterling to see. Not even the darkness of the night could steal that from Sterling. He saw Adrian from theinsideout.
“I’m sorry,” Adrian whispered against Sterling’s lips. The kiss came and went like waves lapping at the shore, and Adrian’s voice tumbled like the letter in the bottle caught in its currents. “I’msorry.”
Sterling grinned, letting Adrian feel it. He lifted his hand and ran it along the back of Adrian’s hair, brushing back the soft hairs he found there. “You don’t have anything to be sorryabout.”
