“Listen, I’ve got to get back to Gabriel.” Adrian pushed off the counter. He rounded Sterling, brushing by his hip in a way that Sterling would have sworn was suggestive had Adrian not flat-out refused him seconds before. “Thanks for understanding, and for helping us out when we were in apinch.”
“You’re always welcome to change your mind, you know.” Sterling let the sincerity shine through in his voice, but he enforced his hopefulness with carefully executed detachment to make sure that he didn’t come across asdesperate.
“I know.” Adrian paused in the kitchen doorway. He didn’t look back. “But don’t hold your breath it’ll happen. This wasn’t mychoice.”
“I’m making it yourchoice.”
Adrian shook his head slowly. “I don’t get you. I don’t understand why you’re so nicetome.”
“Because I believe in you.” Sterling spoke the truth. To do anything less would be a disservice to Adrian. “And because I was in your shoes once, and I know what it feels like to be all alone in the world, bearing the brunt of responsibility you neveraskedfor.”
From where he stood, Sterling glimpsed Adrian’s face in profile. He watched as Adrian worried his lip, and as his expression went from hardened and closed-off to troubled. “You have no idea what I’m going through. You don’t know what it’s like to have shit like this happen to you allatonce.”
“Our circumstances aren’t the same, but our pain is.” Sterling didn’t try to hide it anymore. Adrian needed to know he wasn’t alone. “I know what it’s like, to have to be there for someone you love when it feels like your world is falling apart. The difference between us is our approach to handling that suffering. You don’t have to do this alone. I want to be thereforyou.”
This time, when Adrian shook his head, he did so with a strained, caw-like laugh. He pushed back his hair from his face, then let his arm drop to his side. “Thanks, but I’vegotthis.”
The strained way he spoke made Sterling confident what he said wasalie.
“I’m going to go lie down now. Gabriel and I have had a long day, and I need to unwind. I’ll make sure that you’re properly compensated for your time. Thanks again for not kickingusout.”
“For as long as you need me, I’llbehere.”
Adrian gave him one last, lingering look, like he doubted Sterling’s intentions. Then, arms crossed protectively over his chest, he headed back toward the guestbedroom.
There were no shortcuts into the heart of a man like Adrian. Sterling didn’t want there to be. If he was to win Adrian’s affection, he wanted to work for it. The prize was worth thechallenge.
One strike of his chisel at a time, he’d chip away at the walls Adrian kept around his heart. He would wait as long as he needed to in order to see the project complete—to see Adrian irrefutablyhappy.
As a Dom and as a lover, the need to see his partner satisfied in all ways came first and foremost. Whatever it took, he would get Adrian there again. Hesworeit.
17
Adrian
The steady,peaceful way Gabriel drew breath as he slept should have been a comfort, but it wasn’t. Adrian’s mind turned in hopeless circles, struggling to break away from the same,viciousloop.
They were here, sleeping in the penthouse of a near stranger, because Adrian hadn’t been there to protect Gabriel when Gabriel needed himthemost.
Gabriel needed him as badly as he did because he was broken from the experience he’d had after he’drunaway.
He’d run away because Adrian had lashed out at him until he couldn’t take itanymore.
Every problem in his life and every obstacle he now faced was a result of his poor attitude. If there was anyone who deserved what was coming to him, it wasAdrian.
But even though Adrian knew it, he’d never felt soafraid.
Tears, unwelcome and unwanted, gathered in the corners of his eyes. He rolled onto his side and tried to bring the sheets to hide his face, but Gabriel was tangled up in them, and they only reached Adrian’s nose—just close enough that he breathed in the scent of fabricsoftener.
And beneath that, the scent ofSterling.
A tear slid down Adrian’s cheek. He pushed the sheets away, but it was too late. Thoughts of Sterling disrupted the cyclical negativity spinning on repeat inhismind.
Sterling, who’d been nice to him even when Adrian deserved hishatred.
Sterling, who always put his pleasure first, and who’d even let Adrian indulge his sadism without batting aneyelash.
Sterling, who wanted their baby when Adrian couldn’t bear the thought of being afather.
