“Unless you have an ultrasound machineathome.”
Thatmouth. Sterling held back a grin. “Idon’t.”
“Then sitting and waiting it is.” Adrian steered Gabriel down the hall and toward the waiting room, unafraid to lead the way. “Just what, seven more months of doctor appointments and endless waiting? That won’t get boring at all. Can you remind me why we’re doing thisagain?”
“Because you’re a good father, Adrian,” Sterling said softly from behind his shoulder. He followed Adrian down the hall. “That’swhy.”
The look in Adrian’s eyes as he glanced over his shoulder at Sterling was surprised and gently disbelieving all at once, and it made Sterling’s heart skipabeat.
No matter how long it took, and no matter what it took to do it, Sterling would earn his trust. He saw the potential in Adrian, and he wanted to develop it in full. Adrian would make a great father if he only believed in himself—and the look in his eyes told Sterling that he was reluctantly starting to get themessage.
Another chance, another shot at being a family, and another fresh start—it was all that Sterling never knew he needed, but now wanted more thananythingelse.
15
Adrian
Adrian still wasn’t showing.As he laid in bed, phone suspended precariously in one hand over his head as he scrolled through his news feed, he stroked his belly and tried to feel the change. He hadn’t read much about pregnancy, and he hadn’t envisioned himself ever being a father, but he’d been sure he’d feel different if it everhappened.
More alive. More sick. Morebloated.
Moresomething.
But all he felt was moreconfused.
The blood work Dr. Harris had done confirmed that he’d conceived. The tiny speck she’d discovered in his ultrasound was allegedly proof of the fetus his bodyharbored.
So why didn’t he feel like afatheryet?
Adrian traced his hand back and forth, exploring the area from the base of his dick all the way to his chest. Apart from a modest roundness that he honestly would pass off as water retention or bloating from overeating, he didn’t feel any bigger. At three months, wasn’t he supposed to feel something? He was one-third of the way through his journey,afterall.
So far, it hadn’t been much of a journeyatall.
He’d been to see the doctor a month ago. Since then, he’d been taking his vitamins as regularly as possible, but apart from that, there’d been no real change in his life. Dr. Harris had told him that sex was encouraged during pregnancy—that if he kept partnering with Sterling, his body would benefit from the boost it would receive from alphahormones.
Orwhatever.
If Adrian was honest, he didn’t actually understand what she’d been spouting off about. It felt either too staunchly traditional, or way too new-agey, and he couldn’t figure out which. When it came down to it, his body didn’tneedanalpha.
But Adrian knew firsthand that needing and wanting were two separatethings.
As his mind turned the thought over, he opened his text message history with Sterling and scrolled through their sparse texts. After Adrian had gone to visit Sterling the night he’d learned he was pregnant, he’d barely been back. Sterling had tried to engage Adrian in conversation several times since then, but Adrian hadn’t felt much liketalking.
He knew what Sterling wanted, and Adrian wasn’t ready to give ittohim.
For the last four years, he’d had plenty of sexual partners, but he’d stayed single for a reason. People like him didn’t deserve to be happy. Adrian never denied himself momentary indulgence—especially when those indulgences allowed him to get out some of the frustration and guilt he harbored deep inside—but anything more than that was strictly off thetable.
But Sterling wanted to be afamily.
Adrian’s hand wandered back over his belly, stroking the tiny bump he found there. What would it be like, to belong to Sterling? To wake up every morning by Sterling’s side as the sun shone through the bedroom window and lit Sterling’s hair up like gold? Was Sterling the kind of man who’d slip into the shower with him every morning before work and wrap his arms around him from behind, only to kiss the crook of his neck until they were both so riled that they went backtobed?
Adrian reached the end of their conversation history. The last message was from Sterling, timestamped the nightbefore.
Hey. Are you having a goodnight?
There was noreply.
Adrian turned off the screen and set the phone on his chest. As he did, he closed his eyes and exhaled until he couldn’t anymore. What the hell was he going to do? Gabriel needed him a hell of a lot more than Sterling did, but Adrian couldn’t make the little voice in his head that urged him to go to Sterling shut up. It nagged at him, begging him toreconsider.
