“You’re better than that! I deserve better than that! And if any of that was real, because that was a damn good kiss, but if you ever want to kiss me again, then you’re going to need to ask me nicely and fucking apologize for even thinking that you could use me to manipulate an innocent woman like that.”
He storms away to his room where the sound of his door firmly shutting echoes throughout the condo.
Obviously, this is really bad.
I’d been waiting to make a move for a reason. I was worried he would think I was just experimenting, or I was just horny and confusing him with a partner because we’re living together like he used to accuse me of when I moved in.
Him thinking I only wanted to kiss him to lie to Emily is worse than all of that, and in no way is it true.
But there’s also a part of me that’s stuck on how fucking hot Adrian standing up for himself and putting me in my place was. Bossy Adrian scolding me for being bad is apparently now at the top of my list of fantasies.
I need to make things right between us as soon as possible. But when I knock on his door, he doesn’t respond.
Fuck.
I also seriously need to talk to Emily. For some reason, I’m less convinced than Adrian seemed to be that she only picked me assuming we were together. We had a whole big talk about how she was raised by a single parent after she reassured me that my being single wasn’t something she was against when consideringprospective families for her child. We bonded over my speech at the fundraiser. I’m not giving up hope that she’ll still want to continue as planned when I clarify that Adrian and I are not together.
But I’m also really hoping I can clarify things with him so, eventually, that won’t be the case.
30
ADRIAN
Hudson
I’m really sorry about how last night played out. I tried to knock on your door, but I’m not sure if you heard me.
Hudson
I’d love the chance to talk about it in person. Are you free for lunch today?
Hudson
I’m going to meet Emily for dinner at that Italian place on Greene after her clinicals today at seven. I’d really love it if you could join us. I’m going to clarify everything with her.
Hudson
I understand if you don’t want to be a part of that… Is it still okay if I stay with you? Or do you need space?
Adrian
OMG you don’t need to move out, let me be thedramatic one.
Adrian
I’ll come to the dinner.
Work was crazy today, despite the players having the day off. It didn’t help that everything I did took way longer than it should have with my mind still very distracted by the events of last night.
Talk about an emotional rollercoaster. I spent hours freaking out about telling Hudson that Emily thought we were a couple, anticipating his own panic when I did tell him, and then he just… didn’t freak out. He didn’t seem concerned about that at all.
The last thing I was expecting, though, was for him to run with the suggestion. And even if he was so desperate for her approval that he wanted to pretend to be together in front of her, which obviously I wouldn’t agree to, he didn’t need to kiss me! Why the fuck did he do that?
And it wasn’t just a quick kiss to show he would kiss a man to prove a point or something—he was all in.
After I got over the shock and gave in, that was easily the best first kiss of my life. Probably even the best kiss, period. I wanted it to lead to so much more, and with how hard Hudson was, grinding up into me, it seemed like maybe he did too.
But as I started to think about more, to question how far he would be willing to go, I remembered why he’d even kissed me in the first place. I stand by what I said last night. He’s better than that. He isn’t a manipulative liar, and his first parenting act shouldn’t be one of deceit.
