But if he’s this panicked over Emily thinking we’re together… There’s no way he’d want to actually date me.
Fuck.
“You don’t get it!” he insists. “She made a comment about how we will both be such great parents, together, as a couple, and when I told her she had misunderstood, that we really are just friends, she fucking winked at me! She promised our secret is safe with her!”
“That sounds nice,” I point out, still failing to see the reason for him being so freaked out.
“Hudson! You were the one who was so nervous about being passed over because you’ll be a single parent. What if she only agreed to match with you because she thought we were really a couple? You’re a professional athlete living with a gay male roommate. It’s not exactly the biggest leap to take that we would be claiming to just be friends for the media’s sake.”
Fuck.
What is happening right now? Moments ago, I was excited to finally be home, to sleep in Adrian’s comfy guest bed. Now my too-tired brain is being forced to process not just my hopes for Adrian and I falling apart, but potentially the adoption match ending as well.
And why? Because the woman who already picked me agrees with me that Adrian and I would be a great couple? Because she correctly assumed that I’m into him and want to be dating him?
That’s bullshit.
Why should I lose my chance to be a father because of that?
I’ve been waiting, trying to be patient and do things right, but what if that was a mistake that ends up costing me everything?
Does the idea of being with me really sound so awful to Adrian?
This isn’t at all what I had planned, but I can’t wait any longer tofind out.
“What if we weren’t just friends?” I blurt out, still standing right in front of him, hands still on his shoulders as I look down into his confused gaze.
“Hudson, you can’t lie to her! Do you know how fucked up that would be? How unethical? You’re straight, you can’t just?—”
Okay, maybe that's the issue. It isn’t that being with me sounds awful; he needs proof that I’m not straight. I shift my hands from his shoulders up to hold his face, angling it up as I lean down and cut off his rambling by bringing my mouth to his.
This isn’t how I pictured our first kiss going.
But I’m so tired, and Adrian seemed so convinced that I couldn’t be into him, and we were already standing so close together. I’ve wanted to kiss him for months, and all the excuses I’ve used to hold myself back seem pointless now when I feel like I could lose everything I’ve been hoping for.
Adrian needs me to convince him that I’m not straight. What better way to do it than with my lips on his?
He’s frozen, obviously shocked by my move, but I want to show him what I’m too exhausted to explain with words. I pour the months of questions and longing into the kiss as I move my mouth against his. I step even closer, bringing my body as close to his as I can while still leaning down enough to accommodate our height differences.
Just when I begin to worry that our connection really has all been in my head, he relaxes, sinking into my hold, and finally kisses me back. The feel of his soft lips moving against mine lights me up from the inside. Was I tired before? I’m completely awake now as Adrian’s tongue teases the seam of my lips, every motion feeling even better than the last. I immediately open for him, deepening the kiss, and I shift us slightly so that the back of my legs hit the couch.
Still holding his face, unwilling to break free from our connection for even a moment, I slowly pull him down with me as I sit. He climbs into my lap, just like I’d hoped, pushing me to rest against the back of the couch as he takes complete control of the kiss, just like he’s done in so many of my fantasies of him.
My dick is rock hard as all those nights of leaving my door cracked, all the times I’ve used the toys, every time I’ve pictured this happening, collides with this moment. I’m finally kissing Adrian, and somehow, it’s so much better than I’d imagined. I wasn’t sure how different it would be kissing a man, but as I finally run a hand down the length of his torso, following the hard curves of his toned muscles obvious through the thin, silky fabric of his matching pajamas, I’m even more desperate for him. Adrian is smaller than me, both in height and in his build, but there’s no mistaking the fact that he is a man.
And I’m loving every second of it.
I knew I wasn’t making up our connection. All the hope I’ve been holding on to wasn’t for nothing.
I move both hands to his hips now, unable to stop myself from positioning him over my aching cock as I grind into him, desperate for relief. It’s been so long since I got off with another person, sure. But I know the level of need I’m feeling right now is specific to Adrian. I can’t remember the last time I was this excited about the idea of being with someone. A loud moan escapes my throat as I shift my hips up into him again, and even the slight friction feels like it could be enough to get me off with how good everything he’s doing feels.
But then he’s pulling back, scrambling off my lap, looking even more confused than he did before I kissed him. His pajamas are doing nothing to hide his erection, so I have no idea why he’s stopping when we were both clearly enjoying that so much.
“What’s wrong?” I ask through labored breaths. He shakes his head, mouth open, but no words come out for a long moment. “Why did you stop?” I repeat.
“Because!” He throws his arms out to the sidesdefeatedly. “We’re not doing this! You’re not going to finally kiss me after all these years because you want to lie to a pregnant woman to convince her we’re together to let you adopt her baby!” He sounds as devastated as I feel as I realize how much I fucked up if he thinks that’s why I wanted to kiss him.
I’m the one shaking my head now, unable to find the words to explain. “I—” He cuts me off before I can say anything.
