NATALIE
After the gala the days jumbled together I had mixed emotions about everything. I kept wondering,do I try to save my marriage?
Jason did his usual traveling and was back on a Thursday evening. It was late when he arrived, and the house was quiet. I pretended to be asleep when I heard the front door click shut, but my heart raced as his footsteps echoed down the hallway. He tiptoed into our room, careful not to wake me, and tossed his suitcase onto the chair in the corner.
I heard the water turn on in the bathroom and the sound of the shower muffled behind the door. Something about his movements felt different, mechanical, distant, as if he were a stranger in his own home. I wanted to close my eyes and drift away, but something inside me pushed me to get up.
I made a decision I hadn’t made in a long time. I decided to join him.
The bathroom was filled with steam when I stepped inside. Jason turned when he heard the shower door open. His face was startled. He didn’t say anything, just watched as I stepped under the spray. For a moment, we simply looked at each other with the water cascading between us. I moved closer and kissed him, testing whether I still felt anything. His lips were familiar, yet they felt different, softer, more hesitant. A part of me still wanted him. I wanted to feel a connection again and to bridge the growing chasm between us. I wanted him to want me, too.
We started kissing passionately, an unspoken plea, a desperate attempt to hold onto what was slipping away. Jason turned me around and pushed me gently against the shower wall, his hands firm but trembling. He entered me, and the moment was over almost as quickly as it began.
As we dried off, the silence between us felt heavy, almost suffocating. The intimacy we had shared moments ago already evaporated into a distant memory.
“How was New York?” I asked, breaking the quiet.
“Fine,” he replied, his voice flat, devoid of any real emotion. “We accomplished what we went there for.”
“Who’s we?” I asked, trying to keep my tone light.
“My team.”
“Shannon?” I added, testing the waters.
Jason froze for a moment. His expression betrayed a flicker of surprise. “Yes, Shannon was there. Why do you ask?”
“Just curious” I say, tilting my head.
“I just don’t think I’ve ever mentioned her.”
I took a deep breath. “She was texting you a lot last weekend… I looked. I’m sorry.”
His face hardened, but then his eyes softened. He sat down on the edge of the bed and sighed.
“Okay. What do you want to know?”
“Are you having an affair with her?” The words came out before I could stop them.
Jason’s gaze dropped to the floor, and he exhaled shakily.
“No,” he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper. “But I thought about it. I kissed her… one time…and I’m so sorry, Natalie. I shouldn’t have let it get that far.”
His eyes filled with tears as he looked up at me, his voice cracking. “I’ve been such an idiot. I’ve been distant, distracted, and I let things get blurry with her. But it never went further than that. I swear. I stopped it. I couldn’t do that to you. To us.” He paused, wiping at his face like he was ashamed of his emotions. “I think she wanted more, and I should have shut it down earlier. I’ve been so caught up in work, and I’ve been failing you, Natalie. I’m so sorry.”
I had already known, hadn’t I? The late nights, the vague answers, the emotional distance all made sense now.
I wanted to cry. A lump formed in my throat as I tried to steady my breathing. This was the moment, wasn’t it? The moment I should tell him about Will. I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. My lips trembled as the weight of my own guilt pressed down on me. The words were right there on the edge of my tongue, but I couldn’t manage to say them. How could I?
Jason’s face was etched with regret. His voice was heavy with remorse. Would my confession shatter whatever fragile piece of us still remained? Instead, I simply got up and walked toward the bed.
Then I turned back. “I just want to be alone tonight.”
Jason hesitated, his brow furrowed, but he didn’t argue. He nodded and gathered a pillow from the bed. “I’ll sleep downstairs,” he said softly, his voice filled with an unspoken sadness.
I climbed into bed, pulling the covers tightly around me, and listened as Jason’s footsteps retreated down the hall. The soundof his movements downstairs was faint, almost ghostlike, and soon, the house fell into silence. But I didn’t sleep. I lay there, staring into the darkness, the weight of everything we had said, and hadn’t said, crushing me.
The next morning, I lay stiffly in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. The quiet hum of the house felt oppressive, wrapping around me like a heavy fog. I heard Jason’s footsteps on the stairs, slow and hesitant. A moment later, the door creaked open, and he stepped inside.
