“Okay, we’ll come back to this card in a minute. I’d like to pull your present card if you’re ready.”
I nod as her hand hovers over the deck.
“For your present: The Wheel of Fortune, reversed.” Her voice is as calm as ever.
“Does that mean misfortune?” I ask, panic on the edge of my voice.
“Perhaps. When we see this card reversed, it lends to bouts of bad luck and breaking cycles. Not necessarily misfortune. What do you think of the cycle element?”
“I mean, breaking cycles seems like it could be positive. Bad luck feels right.” I laugh, taking the seriousness out of the room. Jane is quiet, waiting for me to elaborate. “Well, I’m supposed to be on a vacation right now and it was canceled due to said ex. The bad luck could also be falling into relationships with the wrong people at the wrong time?”
“All possible.” Jane contemplates. “What about cycles?”
“The bad luck forced me to make some changes. I’ve set boundaries, tried new activities.”
“Ah, this could also be regarding the relationship with oneself. It can also be romantic in nature.”
“Is this good or bad?” I’m trying to boil this down to the overall message and meaning.
“This isn’t an answer you’ll like, but it could be both or neither. What is good to some, is bad to others. Instead of getting into that, I’d like to think about these two cards together. Any thoughts?”
The anxiety of the unknown buzzes as I try to keep an open mind. I know Jane’s job is to pull cards, explain possible meanings, and let me interpret them.
“I can’t explain it, but I like the idea of my past card catching up withmy present. This could mean bad luck but a change in cycles, which could’ve led to the betrayal I’ve experienced in the past.”
Jane nods, pleased with my observation. “Are you sure this is your first time?” She jokes.
“First-time tarot reading but long-time therapy attendee.” I place my hand on my heart.
“Your reversed Wheel of Fortune could also mean changes are coming.” She says it like it’s a good thing. If only she knew how much time I spend preparing for the most basic of new experiences—reading menus, making sure I’m weather-ready, and my most frequent Google search history starts with “what to expect when…”
The idea of change makes the hair on my neck stand up. I know I can’t be stagnant, but I prefer to be in control. Maybe tarot isn’t for me.
“Let’s pull your final card and the one I find is the most exciting.” Jane’s hand rests on the top card of the last deck. She flips it over. This has to be a joke.
Death. My future card is Death. I gasp and cover my mouth. All the color leaves my face, and a cold sweat breaks out over my brow.
“Interesting,” Jane mumbles, looking at all three cards.
“You pull the Death card and all you’ve got is ‘interesting’?!” My voice comes out higher than I mean for it to.
Jane laughs. “Contrary to popular belief, the Death card doesn’t mean mortal death. I mean, it could, but all the other cards could as well. Surprisingly, this card plays nicely with your previous card. What I’m seeing is true transformation and transition.”
“Please keep going. I know you’re going to prompt a question for me to answer and I’m telling you now, I’ve got nothing.”
Jane seems excited as she elaborates. “Your present card all leads toward change but your future card kind of cements it. You could view this as a life-changing experience that you take with you into your next phase or a newpartner, adventure, hobby, or even a new job.”
“How do you feel about change?” Jane reaches out and grabs my hands.
“Well, by the amount I’m sweating, I’m guessing you already know.” I’m not trying to be funny but she still laughs.
“Change is difficult for all of us. But wouldn’t it be harder to remain the same throughout our entire time on this planet? How wonderful we get to grow and morph.”
Damn, she’s good.
Jane is wise. Her and my therapist would get along, that’s for sure. I don’t like the word morph but can get behind the general idea.
We all sit in silence for a few moments. Jane is patient and observant, knowing I’m still reviewing the cards in front of me. “Do you have any other questions about these cards?”
