“Savior called last night and asked if I would come to Devil Springs to talk with you. I’m not sure if he told you that I’m a licensed clinical therapist. I’m more than happy to help, but I know he sprung this on you, so I completely understand if you’re not interested,” Harper explained.
“Crap!” Leigh exclaimed. “We’re out of butter, and it looks like we’re running low on milk, too. I need to run to the grocery store real quick. I’ll be right back,” she said and darted out the door.
Harper giggled and shook her head. “Smooth, Aunt Leigh,” she called before turning her attention to me. “Please know that anything you say to me will be kept one-hundred-percent confidential.”
“Why did you become a therapist?” I asked. I wasn’t about to deny my need for some professional counseling, but I wanted to know a little more about her before I decided to open up about myself.
“I was kidnapped when I was a child. It took my brother a couple of months to find me and rescue me. During the time I was gone, my last living parent died. Needless to say, I was a traumatized child, and I soon realized there weren’t enough people out there trained to help other kids like me.”
“Well, shit,” I sighed. “I was expecting a generic reason like, ‘I want to help people.’ I wasn’t expecting you to be so honest.”
“Ah,” she said knowingly. “You weren’t going to share if I didn’t.” When my mouth dropped open in surprise, she smiled. “I work with teenagers. They’re much more difficult to crack than you are.”
“Yeah, I bet they are,” I laughed nervously. “Um, what do you already know?”
“When Savior called last night, he gave me a rundown of the major events that have happened over the last few years, starting with the death of your husband. Now, as a woman, I would probably be pissed if my man called a woman I didn’t know very well and shared everything about my past with her. But, on his behalf, he sounded so lost on the phone last night, and I truly believe he only has your best interest at heart.”
I smiled at the way she was trying to protect Kellan. “I know,” I said. “He’s a good man, and I know he wouldn’t share the intimate details of our lives without a reason.”
“He is a good man, and I’m glad to finally see him happy,” she said and shrugged. “I mean, no pressure or anything.”
I laughed. Harper was easy to get along with, and surprisingly, I felt comfortable talking to her. I just didn’t know how to start.
An awkward silence fell between us for a few moments, but she didn’t let it last long. “So, there’s a few ways to get this ball rolling. If you know where you want to begin, by all means, start talking. But, if you need me to ask a few questions to get us to where we need to be, I can do that, too.”
“How do you know where we need to be?” I asked, genuinely curious.
“Trust me; we’ll both know when we get there.”
I nodded and thought about what I wanted to talk about; but, I had no idea where to begin, so I told her just that.
“Let’s start with last night. What happened that had Savior calling and asking me to come to Devil Springs?”
“I thought he already told you everything,” I hedged.
“He did, but I want to hear it from you.”
“My husband and I had separated, and he died before I found out why he left. Yesterday, the police found a letter Ian had written to me on the night he died. He knew something was going on with his friend and he left to protect me and the kids. Then, last night, my son got sick and wanted Kellan to lay in the bed with him. And Braxton called him ‘Daddy’ before he fell asleep,” I shared and looked down at my clasped hands.
“And then what happened?”
I smiled sadly. “I think Kellan knew it was too much for me. He tried to dismiss it by saying Braxton was just tired, but as soon as Braxton was asleep, he left the room. I assumed he went downstairs, but he wasn’t there when I got up this morning and I just…I don’t know, I wasn’t ready to talk about it.”
“Why not?” Harper gently prompted.
I balled my hands into tightly clenched fists. “Because I’m fucking pissed!” I blurted, then clarified, “Not at my son.”
I took a moment to breathe through it and gather my thoughts. Or I tried to. “Don’t think about it. Tell me what you’re feeling right now,” Harper insisted.
“I feel selfish right now. Why can’t I grieve for my husband like a normal widow? Every time I think I’ve found a little bit of peace, and dare I say happiness, in my life, something comes along and rips my heart out all over again. I don’t want to forget Ian and I would never try to replace him, but it was a hell of a lot easier to move forward with my life when I was mad at him. Then, yesterday I found out he was the noble man I loved all along. I understand why he did it the way he did, but I think he should’ve fucking told me! What in the hell am I supposed to do now? Be in love with my dead husband as well as Kellan? I’m so damn angry I just want to scream at the top of my lungs! Why me? Why did this have to happen to me the way that it did? I want to know why?!” I sucked in a huge lungful of air at the end of my rant.
“Do it,” Harper said simply.
“Do what?”
“Scream.” When I looked at her like she’d lost her damn mind, she said it again. “No one’s here. Scream your frustration to the heavens.” She waited a few seconds and got to her feet. “Okay, I’ll go first.”
And she did. The little woman let out a ferocious roar toward the ceiling. She kept going until she ran out of breath and coughed. “Your turn.”
