“I don’t want to live in C.S.A.M.M. anymore,” she blurts.
The words hang between us.
My heart stops. “What? But that’s… You can’t…” A hundred scenarios rocket through my head at once—Natalie wanting to give up magic forever, to stop being a witch, to move out of the country.
“I still want to work there,” she says quickly, maybe seeing my panic. “I’ll always be a Guardian. But I want to shut work off when the day’s done. I want a whole separate part of my life that isn’t about being a witch. I want…” She looks down at our entwined hands. “I want to spend evenings and weekends doing normal things. Dinner parties and… I don’t know, hiking? Gardening? What do normal people do?”
My eyes sting. Between the emotion of everything and my lack of sleep, I could burst into tears. This doesn’t fit with the future I envisioned for us—the one where I move in with her and we spend our free time here in the lounge and courtyard. The one where I could maybe one day be a witch too.
Does she feel this way because of me? Have I impacted her life so severely that I’m making her question her identity?
“Don’t…” I swallow around the lump in my throat, trying not to sound like I’m about to cry. “Don’t make any decisions you can’t reverse. Everything is so messed up right now, but once we clear my name…”
She shakes her head. “I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. I want to step back from the coven’s rules and be my own person. I want this for us—and for me.”
I nod, trying to understand. Given the way the coven is treating me, I get why she’s disillusioned. “I feel like this is my fault,” I say quietly.
“It’s not. You helped me see the darkness that was already there.” She tips my chin up so I meet her eyes, which are also full of tears.
Is she right? I recall what she once confessed to me:“Being in the coven…it’s like our whole identity.”I just never imagined this.
Through the window, the front door of the apartment building flies open. A dishevelled young woman bursts out with Ethel in her arms, wearing an oversize red sweater that comes to her knees, pajama pants, and fuzzy slippers.
“Hazel,” I whisper.
Natalie and I break apart. We’ll have to finish this conversation later.
Hazel’s face crumples, and by the time I climb out of the car, tears are spilling down her cheeks.
We collide in a fierce hug. Ethel meows and purrs between us, clambering for me. For a fleeting moment, I let myself pretend everything is normal—like this is another reunion with my bestie, not the aftermath of a verdict that could destroy my future.
“I really didn’t expect to return to a coven that hates me,” I say into Hazel’s shoulder, my throat tightening.
“They don’t deserve you.” She squeezes tighter. “Anyway, you’ve got me and Natalie on your team, and we love you.”
There’s a pause as the wordlovehangs in the air. Maybe I’m the only one to notice it.
Around us, the day is mockingly normal. Weak afternoon sun glints off the windows on the modest brick building, a breeze carries the scent of the ocean mixed with Kitsilano’s ever-present coffee shop aromas, traffic hums in the distance, and pedestrians and cyclists pass by on their way home from work.
We break apart, and I squish Ethel against my chest, burying my face in her soft fur. “I’m so screwed. Think they’ll let me do some interior decorating in my cell? A bean bag chair and some posters?”
“We’ll get you out of this,” Natalie says. She leans against her car, her hands in the pockets of her gray suit, wearing the same numb, solemn expression she’s had since we left. Like she’s still processing how quickly everything went wrong.
“Natalie’s dad should be able to help,” I tell Hazel. “He captures feral magic for a living.” My voice is hollow and devoid of hope. Because first we need to free her dad from wherever the Madsens have him captive. If that’s even possible.
Hazel nods, her eyes glossy but her jaw set. “You can do it, Katie. I’ve seen you trap a rabid demon kitten under a laundry hamper.”
I almost crack a smile but am too tired and scared to let it form. Though her faith in me warms my chest, she doesn’t understand. One kitten, no matter how possessed, is nothing compared to fifty-six chimeras. Fiona only agreed because she knew I’d fail.
I furrow my brow at the mention of my old kitten, recalling the chaotic morning that became my introduction to magic. “Natalie, didn’t you say Lucy was bio magic? Why could I trap her so easily?”
I don’t dare to hope… But if I have a rare magic-sensing ability, then…?
Natalie shakes her head. “She was already harnessed and had a curse placed on her. She wasn’t a feral chimera.”
My stomach sinks. “Ah.”
Deep breaths. Don’t puke.
