My heart is racing writing that down. But when I see how happy Katie and Natalie are together and how Natalie treats her, I want that for myself.
I vowed to do things that scare me, and this is definitely scary. But it’s also incredibly exciting.
It seems wrong to be thinking about this when Katie needs me. But Katie has always shown me that the scariest things are the ones most worth doing. Like pursuing a mysterious woman who might have kidnapped your cat. Or joining a coven. Or coming out to your friends.
So maybe being honest with her isn’t bad timing, but exactly what we both need right now. A reminder that no matter what changes, we’re still us, and we’re always there for each other.
Chapter 5
The Impossible Task
Twomonthstocatchall the chimeras or I lose the next five years of my life in the coven’s underground cells. Ugh, this is like the world’s worst Pokémon game.
My stomach revolts as Natalie drives me to Hazel’s place, and I roll down the window to let the cool spring air hit my face.Don’t be sick, don’t be sick. This will all work out.
Natalie’s knuckles are white on the steering wheel, the veins in her forearms bulging as she grips it too tightly. She hasn’t said much since we left, but she’s practically radiating anger, like standing next to a bonfire. Her jaw is clenched so hard that a muscle jumps in her cheek.
“You don’t deserve this,” she finally says, her voice rough. “You did the right thing, and they’re too stubborn to see it.”
I reach over and squeeze her thigh, my throat so tight I can’t speak.
Now could be the time to tell her how I feel—to let her know exactly what she means to me before everything gets even more complicated. But what if saying the words makes this harder for both of us? What if knowing I love her makes the thought of my imprisonment even more painful for her to bear?
“This is my fault,” she growls, jerking me out of my thoughts. “I should have never brought you into all this.”
“Don’t say that,” I reply, barely audible. “Meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me.”
Natalie’s scowl deepens. “Was it? Look where it’s gotten you.”
My eyes burn, and a lump forms in my throat. “Please don’t think that way.”
She shakes her head. “You don’t understand. I’ve spent my whole life in the coven, and I know how they operate. They’re setting you up to fail because you’re not one of us.”
The words sting more than they should. “Not one of you?”
Natalie winces. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Isn’t it, though? I’m just the non-magical girlfriend you’re not supposed to have.” I pull my hand back, staring out the window as the world passes in a blur. “Be honest. Would any of this be happening if I were a witch?”
Natalie’s silence is answer enough. When I look back at her, her expression is sour. “The coven has always been protective of its secrets. Outsiders are…complicated.”
“Outsiders,” I repeat, the word a sigh.
“I hate that they see you that way. But I can’t change centuries of lawmaking overnight.” She switches lanes, falling back into a moody silence.
“You didn’t answer my question,” I say.
She blows out a breath. “Your trial would have gone differently if you were a witch, yes.” She reaches over to squeeze my hand, her fingers warm and strong. “But that doesn’t mean I want it any other way.”
Before I can decide whether I believe her, she adds, “There’s been something on my mind lately. For weeks, and maybe longer.”
She parallel parks in front of Hazel’s apartment building and turns off the car.
My pulse quickens as I stare at her, wondering what she’s going to say. I can’t tell if it’s good or bad.
She doesn’t meet my eye, swallowing hard.
“Natalie, you’re scaring me,” I say.
