Sculpted light fixtures of glass and silver metal, suspended from the restaurant’s high ceilings, enveloped the diners in a bubbly intergalactic atmosphere.
He rose from his seat as Cierra approached, wearing dark gray pants with a patterned T-shirt and silver chain — looking every bit the suave bachelor he was. Cierra hated how much his demeanor of casual luxury turned her on. A hopeful yet cautious smile played on his lips, though they were pressed together; his eyes, meanwhile, were keen and watchful.
“I was worried you wouldn’t show up,” he said, sliding the wishbone chair out for her to sit. It curved perfectly behind her back.
“I wasn’t sure I was going to,” she said.
While she was getting ready, and even on the way to the restaurant, Cierra had instructed herself to own her power in the dynamic. Finding love meant taking risks, but that didn’t mean she shouldn’t protect herself. She constructed a mental wall, willing herself to stay on guard.
But that was before she found herself across from his familiar, disturbingly handsome face looking at her with desperate, determined eyes. He’d let his facial hair grow in some, his low salt and pepper beard perfectly framing a strong jaw and complementing his toasted olive skin. The scent of his earthy cologne still lingered under her nose from when he greeted her.
Before either of them could say anything, the sommelier came by with a bottle of chilled Sancerre; Cierra’s favorite. After the initial sip of the pale-yellow liquid went down her throat, Julian cleared his.
“Listen, I owe you an apology and an explanation.”
Cierra rubbed her hands on her thighs and brushed a curl behind her ear. “Let’s hear it.”
Julian took a drink of water before beginning. Even though most tables were filled, Cierra could still hear the faint clicks of his foot tapping the floor.
“I had only been divorced for five months when we met at that tiki bar. That’s why I didn’t mind how raw and heartbroken you were being. I was envious, even, at your ability to let it out. It was so vulnerable, and it made me realize just how much I had been bottling away. And so, when I got the chance to meet you again, I took it. Because ever since I saw you chug that ridiculous cocktail down, I’ve been charmed by you.”
They both chuckled a little. That crazy night felt ages ago by now. A gloom then came over his face, and he looked at the table, downcast. “And then my feelings for you grew deeper, and I wasn’t expecting it, honestly.” He looked back up earnestly.“When I woke up the night after you came back from Mexico City, I was terrified. It wasn’t until I was smelling you next to me that I realized how much I never wanted you to leave.”
So it wasn’t just in my head,Cierra thought. It was comforting to know the spark she felt was mutual, that she hadn’t made it all up. “Okay . . . so?” she replied.
Julian rubbed his hands together. “My gut was telling me how right it felt with you, but then, like, almost instantly, all I could remember was the last time I felt that way toward someone, and how wrong I was.”
His face dropped, and while she wanted to be angry, she understood where he was coming from. “Why didn’t you just say that?”
“What I didn’t tell you about my last relationship is that, well, there was an infidelity, and it left me really jaded. I didn’t want to put my trust issues onto someone else. I thought, if I wasn’t in exclusive relationships, then I wouldn’t ever be at the risk of feeling betrayed.”
“Oh, Julian . . . I’m sorry. I didn’t realize . . .”
He shook his head. “You couldn’t have known.”
There were plenty of things that Cierra could point to in her previous relationship that made her wary of opening up again, but Harry had never cheated on her. And it made Cierra feel for Julian; no wonder he had been acting so strange.
He gently reached for her hand, and Cierra obliged.
“Things are so great with you, and I want us to be more. I want to meet your friends. I want you to come to Vermont. If that means living in the city more full-time, then fine, I can get a house sitter. If you give me another chance, I promise to stop being closed off with you.”
Across the table, Cierra sat, mouth half-open. How was it she had never had more than one guy like her at a time in her life, and now within a week, two successful, handsome men hadmade her question everything she thought she knew about what she wanted in a relationship?
“Thank you for telling me, Julian.” He gently raised her hand up to kiss it. “I was really hurt when you pulled away like that.”
Julian frowned, his face wracked with remorse. “I don’t want to lose you, Cierra. I’ll do whatever I can to prove to you I’m in this — I’m done letting shit from my past affect my future. Hopefully, one with you in it.”
Cierra was still looking in disbelief at Julian when the server came back again, but this time with a woman sauntering toward them that Cierra recognized. It was Renee, an old classmate from culinary school.
“Well, well, well, look who we have here,” she said wryly. Renee was a sturdy woman with short bobbed hair and who never wore makeup. She hailed from Maine and was renowned for her expertise with oysters, crab, lobster . . . really anything that needed tools to be consumed.
“Heard you left Terra in a real bind. Good for you,” she said. “Stuck-up little pricks. I never liked Lana, always acted like her shit didn’t stink.” Renee leaned in with a smug grin, and Cierra chuckled, slightly, at her boisterous old classmate but also at the much-needed mood lightening. “You know, once she came here and sent back her dish? Freaking . . .” But before she could finish her colorful insult, Renee turned her attention to Cierra’s date, who seemed unfazed by her abrasive antics. “And who’sthis?” she said, shamelessly.
“This is Julian,” Cierra replied.
“Ooh la la, you’re both so hot. I love it. Tell ya what, how about you guys get the off-menu pre-fixe, huh?”
“Are you sure? It seems busy. I don’t wanna—”
