She rose from her seat and called Lisa, silently begging that she’d pick up.
“Hey sis, what’s up? You okay?”
“Okay is a bit of a stretch right now, but that doesn’t matter. Do you have a second to talk?”
“I’m finishing up some paperwork, but I have five minutes. Now, tell me what’s going on before I call the cops.” Her voice lowered. “Oh my god . . . are you pregnant, too?”
“What?! No, I just wanted some advice.”
“Oh . . . okay, then. I’ll try,” Lisa replied, almost sounding disappointed.
“Would you look over the application for me? Just one more time?”
“The essay?”
“Yeah.”
An audible groan came through the phone. “Cee, I already went over it twice. It’s rock-solid. I told you this already. What’s this about?”
“I just . . . I can’t get myself to submit it. And it’s due tomorrow. It all feels like it’s going so fast.” Cierra paused, sitting at one of the window seats, looking out toward the street. Thirty pigeons sat neatly in a row on the roof of the building across from her, pecking at each other and shitting, oblivious to her torment. “What if I don’t get it?” she muttered.
On the other end of the line, Cierra could hear the rustle of papers being set down and the latch of Lisa’s office door closing.
“Is that what this is all about? You’re so scared about not getting accepted that you’re going to cut yourself off from a shot at something you’ve wanted for years? I have to say, I’m a little surprised.”
“I just . . . the thought of hearing ‘not this time.’Again. I put so much work and time into this application . . . what if it’s all for nothing?”
“Cee?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you, but I can’t want something for you. Listen, I gotta go, but could you please stop being your own worst enemy and submit the damn application? Remember, they reached out to you. You’re practically guaranteed an audition, okay?”
Cierra exhaled, absorbing her sister’s words. “Okay.”
“Good. Love you, Cee.”
The phone call ended, leaving Cierra alone with her thoughts. Her sister was right; deep down, she knew she wasn’t going to get anywhere if she shied away from opportunities after a singleno. Psyching herself up, she walked over to her laptop, its glow illuminating her face.
It’s just a button, she told herself.
And with that, she sent off the application and shut her computer for the rest of the night. Maybe she’d get it, and it would be a chance of a lifetime. But then maybe she wouldn’t, and even though it’d be tough, she would make it work. This wasn’t last year, and no matter what happened, she was in a good placenow. And she was on a path. She just had to keep following new steppingstones as they appeared. A faint smile spread across her face, and she pulled out her phone to text Mia.
Cierra: wanna go out?
Mia: are we celebrating??
Cierra: Application is officially submitted :) now I need a drink lol
Mia: first round is on me!
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
IN SILVER MARY Janes, a fitted navy-blue satin skirt, and a cropped bodice, Cierra weaved her way through the bustling epicenter of Union Square.
In the center of lower Manhattan, it was always lively with activity. Young couples, groups of college kids and old-timers occupied the benches as she neared her destination. Julian had made a reservation at Oceans, an established high-end seafood restaurant. Like always, he was already waiting for her when she arrived.
At least she could predict his timing.
