He leaned in and kissed my forehead, lingering for a moment before he answered. “Yes . . . I loved you, but I couldn’t tell you because I knew you and how you would respond. And I knew it wouldn’t take too long before I would have been begging you to marry me.”
“And that was too horrible a thought for you?”
“Kelli, you were nineteen, and I was barely out of grad school,” his voice pleaded for understanding.
But I wasn’t sure I could understand that. “So, because I was young, you decided to toss everything we had together aside, all while knowing how I felt about you? Do you even know how much you hurt me? Did you even care? Did you really love me?”
He didn’t answer, he just kept gazing into my eyes.
“I would have waited,” I said through tears. When he didn’t respond I laid back down. “I don’t feel good.”
He got up and walked toward my kitchen. Soon he was back with water and more painkillers. I gratefully took both and closed my eyes.
He stayed by my side. I could feel his body heat and the sound of his deep steady breaths. Seconds later he caressed my cheek. “I loved you more than you know, and I’m sorry I hurt you. I thought I was doing what was best at the time.”
I didn’t know what to say. Tears streamed down my cheeks while I waited for the medicine to kick in. It took a long time, or what seemed like a long time, to fall asleep again as I pondered everything over in my head. I was having a hard time reconciling him walking away because he loved me. And what about Marissa, his ex-wife, or Alexa? It all made my head hurt, and when I did fall asleep, it was fitful, even with the medication.
I was awakened to the smell of something wonderful, but as soon as I sat up, I remembered who was here and all that was said in themiddle of the night, right down to the big boobs. I wanted to crawl back under the covers and die. This was the reason why my dad warned me never to do drugs.
I wondered if Ian would notice if I crept to my room, locked the door, and stayed there until he left. I contemplated dropping to the floor and army crawling my way over there, but I knew in my condition that was a no-go. Knowing my luck, he would probably notice, and I would look like a bigger idiot crawling on the floor. It occurred to me I could keep pretending to sleep, but my bladder wasn’t too fond of that idea.
I decided I needed to be a big girl, so I stood slowly and painfully. None of which went unnoticed. There was a clear view from the kitchen to the living room, and before I knew it, he was by my side.
“How are you this morning?”
I couldn’t help but look at him and think,so this is what it would be like to be married to him. He was still in pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. His hair was ruffled, and he had the perfect amount of scruff on his face. But then I remembered how embarrassed I was about my breakdown in the middle of the night. I pointed down the hall. “I’m going to my room.”
“Breakfast is almost ready,” he called out.
I closed my door and let out a deep breath. I decided then and there I was only taking Tylenol or Advil. I headed straight for my bathroom and looked in the mirror. To say I looked horrible was putting it nicely. The right side of my face looked like a paint palette. No amount of make-up would help the monstrosity that was my face. Only time and ice would help, but I did the best with what I had. I brushed my teeth and my hair. I managed to get my hair up in a bun. Thankfully my hand was working a little better. I washed my face, and for fun I threw on some lip gloss and mascara. I figured it couldn’t hurt. Reluctantly and slowly, I walked back out to tell Ian his services were no longer required. I also thought about quitting again, which I guess in essence made me the boss. How could we work together now? I felt so stupid about last night. And there were feelings, lots and lots of feelings.
Ian was in the kitchen when I came out. His face brightened upon seeing me. “Sit on the couch and I’ll bring breakfast to you.”
Why did he have to be so kind this morning? I stood there and stared at him.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Maybe you should go.”
He set down the plate he had in his hand and walked over to me. Before I knew it, he wrapped me up in his arms. That wasn’t helping the situation.
“I think we need to talk.” He kissed my cheek.
“Yeah, about last night, maybe we should forget about it.”
He laughed and led me over to the couch where I obediently sat while he went to retrieve our food. He brought me a plate filled with homemade coffee cake and fresh fruit. It smelled fabulous, and I knew it would taste just as good. Ian was an excellent cook.
I wasted no time trying his offerings, and they lived up to my expectations. “It’s delicious, thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” he said from where he sat next to me. We both ate in silence for a few minutes before he set his plate down on my coffee table. I wasn’t putting mine down until it was all gone. I had missed his cooking, and I was starving.
Charlie decided to jump in the middle of us. He typically didn’t like company, but I guess as Ian had been there all night, he was tired of waiting to be adored. Ian did the honors and scratched his head while I continued stuffing my face.
With Charlie purring and my mouth full, Ian took his opportunity. “I’m not going to beat around the bush anymore. I’m hoping for a second chance here.”
I lowered the piece of pineapple I was about to eat. “So, you lied to me?”
He shook his head in confusion. “I’ve never lied to you.”
