“But…”Piper’s mind reeled. “But ye married her. Had children with her. Yer maither said?—”
“Me maither saidwhat she thought ye wanted to hear.” Elijah ran a hand through his hair. “Or what she hoped was true. But it wasnae. Catherine and I had an arranged marriage. I was sixteen when me faither forced the match. She was beautiful, aye, and from a good family. But we never loved each other.”
“Then why…”Piper gestured helplessly at the portrait. “Why do ye look so tortured when ye speak of her?”
“Because I failed her!”Elijah’s voice cracked. “Nae because I loved her, but because she was me wife. Me responsibility. And when it mattered most, I wasnae good enough to save her. What kind of man does that make me? What kind of husband? What kind of faither?”
“A human one,”Piper said firmly. “A man who did his best in an impossible situation.”
“Me best wasnae good enough.”Elijah turned back to the portrait. “And she kent it. With her dyin’ breath, she told me I’d failed. That it was me fault. And she was right.”
Piper felta surge of anger so fierce it surprised her. “She was wrong.”
“Ye dinnae ken her.”
“I daenaeneed to ken her to understand that what she said was cruel and unfair!” Piper moved to stand between Elijah and the portrait, forcing him to look at her instead of Catherine’s painted face. “She was dyin’, aye, and probably terrified. But that doesnae excuse puttin’ that burden on ye. That doesnae make it right.”
“She was just speakin’the truth.”
“She was speakin’from pain and fear, and she lashed out at the nearest target. That’s what hurt people do; they hurt others.” Piper’s voice softened slightly. “Yer wife reminds me of me parents, in that way.”
Elijah’s brow furrowed. “What?”
“Me parents.”Piper wrapped her arms around herself. “They would do the same thing, make me the scapegoat for their mistakes. For their bad luck. Anythin’ that went wrong was somehow me fault. I wasnae good enough, wasnae helpful enough, wasnae worth the food I ate or the space I took up.”
“Piper.”
“When they lost at the gamblin’tables, it was because I’d brought them bad luck. When they ran out of money, it was because I was costin’ them too much. When the money lenders came callin’…” Her voice caught. “When they came callin’, me parents decided the easiest solution was to sell me to pay their debts.”
Elijah’s facehad gone very still. “That’s how ye ended up at the hunt?”
“Aye.”The word came out bitter. “Me own parents sold me to men who would use me as prey in a twisted game. And do ye ken what they said when I tried to run? They said I owed them. That I was bein’ ungrateful. That everythin’ was somehow me fault.”
“It wasnae yer fault.”Elijah’s voice was fierce.
“Nay,it wasnae. Just like Catherine’s death wasnae yer fault.” Piper held his gaze. “People who are cruel or weak often blame others for their own failures. That’s what me parents did to me. And that’s what yer wife did to ye with her dyin’ words.”
“Ye cannae compare them.”
“I can, and I am.”Piper’s chin lifted. “Ye failed to do the impossible, and she blamed ye for it. That doesnae make it true. That doesnae make ye responsible for her death. The bandits killed her, Elijah. Nae ye.”
Elijah wasquiet for a long moment, his jaw working. “Even if that’s true, even if I’m nae responsible for Catherine’s death, it doesnae change the fact that I might fail me children the same way. If somethin’ happened to them because I wasnae fast enough, strong enough?—”
“Then at leastthey’d ken ye tried.” Piper stepped closer. “At least they’d have memories of a faither who loved them, who spent time with them, who was present in their lives. Isnae that better than a faither who keeps them safe but at such a distance they feel abandoned?”
“I’m nae abandonin’them.”
“Ye are,though. Maybe nae physically, but emotionally.” Piper’s voice gentled. “Yer children would rather have ye and risk the danger than be perfectly safe but completely alone. They told me as much this mornin’. Both of them.”
Elijah’s expression cracked.“They said that?”
“Nae in those exact words.But aye, that’s what they meant.” Piper reached out hesitantly, then let her hand drop. “Besides, they’re in the castle. Behind walls, surrounded by guards. They’re as safe as anyone can be. And they’d be safer with ye close by than with ye hidin’ away in yer study.”
“What if somethin’happens anyway?”
“Then we’ll dealwith it. Together.” Piper’s voice was firm. “But ye cannae protect them from every possible danger, Elijah. All ye can do is love them and do yer best. That’s all any parent can do.”
“And if mebest isnae good enough?”
