She nods like she doesn’t know what to do with that information, which makes sense, because I’m trying to make plans with her so I can see her as soon as we’re both back, but I keep ignoring the line that separates casual from serious, friends with benefits from relationships, and while I don’t think I can be what Savannah deserves, I selfishly want to spend all my time with her and do all the relationship things. Without this actually being a relationship. Because those bring pressure and expectations, and lead to me letting her down, which I don’t ever want to do.
“Do you get time to relax before the semester, or more training?”
“We’ll probably get a day or two off before business as usual.”
I can see Savannah’s mind working and would give a lot to know what she’s thinking, but then it looks like she’s spiraling, or at least not enjoying where her mind is going, because her brow is furrowed, which is what gives me the courage to ask, “Once you’re back, wanna have a sleepover?”
“If you want me to.” She looks confused. Or skeptical, and both are my bad, but I double down on the cocky friends with benefits persona.
“We can celebrate. Naked.” I purposely check her out, eyes slowly moving down her body, and I want nothing more than to drag her into the back seat and worship her.
“Pretty cocky of you, isn’t it?”
She’s thinking I want to celebrate winning my hockey game, which hasn’t happened yet, but she’s supposed to hear back from her series proposal soon, and I have no doubts on that one. Either they take her story, or they’re idiots.
“Odds are I won’t be the only one with something to celebrate,” I say, but she looks nervous, so I decide not to bring it up. “Isn’t us being together again something to celebrate?” I tease instead.
“Of course.” She rolls her eyes.
“Are you going anywhere?”
“Staying home, mostly.” She shrugs but looks shifty, guilty even, and I try to remember if she’s mentioned an ex-boyfriend she might visit, but then she adds, “We might go out of town to support family along the way…like my cousin has a piano recital.”
That’s when I remember her brother is in the NFL, and they usually have games around Christmas, so going to see him is probably how they’ll spend the holiday together. But I shouldn’t know this, so I pretend I believe she’s going to watch piano.
“Sounds fun.”
“You’re sarcastic, but she’s awesome. Any instrument, any genre…Stevie’s made grown men cry.”
“Glad I’ll be out of town.” I’m teasing, but the way her face just lit up, I’m not sure if it’s still a euphemism for football or if she also has a cousin she wants to go see, but her enthusiasm makes me think that I wouldn’t mind going to whichever one if I could sit beside her and watch her smile like that.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Savannah
Savvy tried so hard
“Banana!” Dallas exclaims, taking me in his arms when he gets in on Christmas Eve.
“What am I, chopped liver?” Clay asks, pretending to be offended since Dallas walked right by him to get to me.
“I saw you two weeks ago.”
One thing I don’t love about Dallas going pro is that I no longer get to go to either of my brothers’ games anymore.
“Speaking of, since when are you into different sports?” Dallas questions.
“You guys made sure I was well-versed in all sports.” I try to play it off, but the lack of surprise on Clay’s face tells me they’ve been talking about me. Probably with Parker.
“Not hockey,” Clay argues, looking to Dallas for confirmation, as if they don’t both already know.
“It’s research. For a book.” I feel the heat rising up the back of my neck at another kind of research we’ve been doing, and try very hard not to think of it.
“That’s what mom said.”
“Shouldn’t you be too busy with football to worry about what I’m up to?”
“You’re my sister and I love you,” Dallas says like it’s all the answer he needs.
