“Are you— You aim to suggest that you and Miss Swift are notsoulmates?”I asked.
“That’sa wordfor what I mean, yes,” he said, rolling his eyes. “We weren’t?—”
“You believe insoulmates!”I croaked. “Yousaddledme with foolish guilt!Mockedme for my feather! You fiend! You’re a dirty, dirtyromantic!”
“Alright, alright!” He patted the air. “Enough of it. I don’t knowwhatI believe. I just know Lydia wasn’t my person. She deserved better than what I could give her once I realized that. She deserves a man who will love her and only her forever and knows that he could. I’m not saying I’m incapable of that kind of commitment; I’m saying that I could not give it toher.”
“Did youtell herthat?” I asked. “Good lord, sir!”
He looked curiously at me, but dismissed the question. “As I was saying, this… Us? You and I? I want you to know that I amaware of its lifespan. Very aware. I imagine that is something you need from me, but if we are to allow ourselves to continue whatever it is we are doing here, then from you, I need you to consider more discretion.”
“Lifespan? What do youmean by that?” I asked.
He squinted. “You’re marrying another man in mere months.”
“Yes,” I said. “I am.”
His eyebrows rose.
“Ah. I see. So this will end with that? That’s fair,” I said.
“It’s not that I want it to; it’s that it will. I’m not sure what I can give you that you will not get with Sam once the words are said, and again, he is my closest friend. I don’t even know why I’m considering this now.”
“I see,” I said. I felt a corrosion in my gut.
“Still… Is that alright? That we take this slow?” he asked.
“Why bother if it should end?”
“Because. Because the idea of ignoring it—of never knowing—is worse.”
“…I don’t wish for you to have other friends,” I told him. “Not while we are… friendly.”
“Done. Am I allowed to ask the same of you?”
I made a face. “Yes. Though that is not something you should be concerned with. I barely wish to beyourfriend. I can’t imagine making others.”
“That’s a flattering statement,” he said.
“No, I meant… I just meant the circumstances are sad,” I said. “I hadn’t expected to make anyfriendsat all. I wanted a husband.”
“Alright. Then you and I will be close friends, exclusively, and we will decide what that looks like slowly?” he checked.
“Slow is good,” I said. “Slow is safe. Slow is… Slow is probably the most respectful and considerate thing you have offered me. Thank you for your patience.”
“Thank you for yours.”
“This is an odd conversation. And, you should remember, I am not an expert on speed in this field of study. And, Ser Elías tells me I’m quite impatient. So, consider the reins yours, Mr. Evergreen. I’m not the person to lead this expedition. You must tell me when I am too quick,” I said.
He swallowed with a curt nod. His thumb brushed over my knuckles, a sweet, simple gesture.
“I’ll trust what you decide,” I added.
The words led to an impossible closeness; we backed into the gate. Edith rustled, next to where my head landed, and Cyrus jestfully moved her face away from mine.
“Some privacy, love,” he told her.
He braced the freed hand behind us, latching to the fence. Soon the smirk, the air, and the ambience that made the man Cyrus Evergreen returned in full bloom to kiss me.
