“You don’t?” I asked.
“No.” He stepped closer, tentatively sliding his hand into mine. “No, I don’t, but my mistakes have shaped me into a man of reason, Your Highness. I don’t leap before I look. I can’t. I must be sure there’s somewhere to land.”
His face was half-obstructed by the falling shadows of the moving sun, half-highlighted by its shine. Every sharp feature, somehow morehandsome, was hopelessly defined, especially in the moment of candid vulnerability.
“I am, as I have repeatedly confessed, attracted to you, Svana. Incredibly. But I’m not… I’m not ready for such immediate intimacy. I need time. If that bothers you-?”
“It doesn’t,” I cut him off. “It doesn’t bother me. I understand your hesitation. I feel it myself. And because I am so… Well, I understand.”
“There’s more.” He paused. After too long, he sighed, and added. “Lydia and I partedmutually,but not painlessly.”
“Oh. I… I’m sorry,” I said.
“We were together for some time,” he explained.
“Was there someone else?” I asked.
“Yes.”
I was injured for him by the simple word, but he continued.
“On my part,” he said.
“You…? On your part?” I asked. “You were unfaithful? But, you’re Oreian. And before, you said-”
“No, I was not unfaithful, Svana. Notexactly.”Mr. Evergreen took a deep breath. “There’s another woman, but not in the way you think.”
“I don’t think anything. I don’t understand,” I said. “If you cheated, I-I’m not sure I… Is there to be someone besides me?”
“I didn’tcheaton Lydia; I ended things because… Because I realized thatifthe opportunity arose to explore another option, I might wish to.”
“So, you ended your engagement because you worried youwouldstray?” I asked.
“That I would want to,” he said. “I don’t think I would, but if the desire is there, then what’s the point? I didn’t end our engagement because of my nature or any character flaw. What I’m saying is, for the right person and for the right reason, Icouldbehave badly, and that is not the man I wish to be, nor how I wish to treat a woman who trusts me.”
I considered his words.
“I…” He exhaled. “I don’t wish for you to see me as some uncontained beast. I wish to be transparent. And further, so that you and I are clear, I amreceptive tothisrelationship. Whatever it is, whatever you wantfrom me. I’ve spent a lot of time considering what it would mean if we…But.”
“I don’t… Mr. Evergreen, I don’t understand. You and Lydia parted because you said you would stray.” My hand trembled; he stilled it. “I don’t want to be with a man who?—”
“Yes, but-” He groaned. “Fine, Svana… I will lay it out there—expose my jugular to you—but you cannot hold it against me.”
“Hold what?” I asked.
“What I meant was, Miss Lydia and I weren’t each other’s match. Does that make sense?”
“You didn’t get along?” I asked.
“No. We got on just fine. Quitewell, actually,” he said.
“Then you weren’tattractedto her? Or her to you?”
“No.”He frowned. “We’re not- We’re not meant to be married to each other, and if I were to encounter the woman Iwasto be married to…”
“You’re not…?” I wove his words and then gasped.
“Please, be kind,” he said.
