“I’m sorry,” he said.
“Of all the liars in this world, you have hurt me the worst,” I said.
He laughed.
“Oh, is it funny? I asked you for honesty; you withheld it. Liar,” I said. “Liar, liar, liar!”
“You did not ask me for honesty; you asked me to defy the King. Do you think my role as Lord Commander is a comedy? A means for you to get your way of things because you can?”
“Oh, stop,” I moaned.
“I took an oath, Svana. To God. I did not agree with His Majesty’s decision; you’ll remember I tried to sway it, but my loyalty was to Nikolai as he was King, not his child who did not understand the importance of her role in what would come!”
My eyes widened slightly. “You knew the Treaty was coming? Even then?” I asked.
“Of course, I knew,” he said. “I was your father’s right hand. I helped design it.”
“Why did you not tell me?” I asked.
“Because I was trying to change it,” he said.
“What?”
“I was trying to find a different way to appease both empires,” he explained. “But Nikolai did not appreciate ideas outside his own. You can be angry all you wish, but I have always done what I believed I could for you, and even things I thought I couldn’t. You can’t take that from me. I know the truth. Did I withhold information? Yes, but you were thirteen, Svana! Why would I divulge such a plan to you if there was a chance to avoid it? Can you imagine your response? Have you met yourself? You are dramatic and hateful when things don’t go your way!”
“I think I took the news very well,” I told him. “I went along with it, didn’t I?”
“Only because by the time we told you, you were in a far darker place,” he said. “When we told you that you were to marrythe Prince, you were not the girl you had been when you were fawning over Willem. But ask me why I stand by my decisions; I will tell you,” he said.
“It doesn’t matter anymore. Don’t you see? Whatever excuse you invent, I cannot trust it,” I said.
“Ask me why; I will tell,” he repeated.
“No.You do not control me anymore! This is what you wanted, wasn’t it? A strong Queen?”
Ser Elías turned from the desk, vanishing into the hall. I chased after him. He moved so quickly that it wasn’t until his bedchamber that I was able to get out, “Don’t you walk away from me, Lord Commander! I am not done with you, and you will comply!”
He ducked beneath his wardrobe and dragged out a large trunk, unlocked it, and then kicked it across the floor, where it halted near the end of my dress.
“There,” he said. “There’s your why, Your Majesty.”
I crossed my arms. “A box?”
“Look inside it,” he said. “But once you do, that’s it. You can never unsee it, but at least my devotion can never be questioned again.”
Annoyed, I hiked my skirt and knelt to open it. There were a hundred envelopes inside, if not more, all bearing a broken, waxy E at their seal. They’d been read.
“So what? What good do my letters do sitting in a chest? Cyrus left me,” I choked. “He left me. Do you think delivering them now will correct that?”
“These aren’t your letters,” he told me. “These letters are mine.”
I narrowed my eyes but brought one closer to inspect it. “I don’t understand. This is the Eisson seal.”
“Aye,” he said. “Read them; I don’t care.”
Quickly, I unfolded the first, and–
Love of Mine,
